movements of
the child, and there is in that delight the approval that society
always gives or tends to give to manifestations of power. We tend
involuntarily to admire strength, even though misdirected. The strong
man always has followers though he be a villain, and in fact the
history of man is to a large extent based on the fact that the strong
man evokes enthusiasm and obedience.
This impulse to activity is an unrest, and its satisfaction lies
in movement; in other words there is a pleasure or a relief in mere
activity. The need of discharging energy, the desire to do so, the
pleasure and satisfaction in so doing constitute a cornerstone of
the foundation of life and character. This desire for activity,
as we shall call it henceforth, is behind work and play; it fluctuates
with health and disease, with youth and old age; it becomes harnessed
to purpose, it is called into being by motives or inhibited by conflict
and indecision and its organization is the task of society. Men
differ in regard to the desire for activity, with a range from the
inert whose energy is low to the dynamic types that are ever busy
and ever seeking more to do.
The child's first movements are aimless, but soon the impressions
it receives by striking hands and feet against soft and hard things
bring about a dim knowledge of the boundaries of itself, and the
kinesthetic impulses from joints and muscles help this knowledge.
The outside world commences to separate itself from the "me,"
though both are vague and shadowy. Soon it learns that one part
of the outside world is able to satisfy its hunger, to supply a
need, and it commences to recognize the existence of benevolent
outside agencies; and it also learns little by little that its instinctive
cries bring these agencies to it. I do not mean that the baby has
any internal language corresponding to the idea of outside agency,
benevolence, etc., but it gets to know that its cries are potent,
that a breast brings relief and satisfaction. At first it cries,
the breast comes, there is relief and satisfaction, and it makes
no connection or no connection is made between these events of outer
and inner origin. But the connection is finally made,--desire becomes
definitely articulate in the cry of the baby, which thus becomes
a plea and a summons. Anticipation of good to come appears and with
it the germ of hope and forward looking, and there is realization
or disappointment, joy or anger or sorrow. Thus desire is linked
up with satisfaction in a definite way, ideas and feelings of demand
and supply begin to appear and perhaps power itself, in the vague
notion, "I can get milk," commences to be felt. Social
life starts when the child associates the mother with the milk,
with the desire and the satisfaction. In the relationship established
between mother and baby is the first great social contact; love,
friendship, discipline, teaching and belief have their origin when,
at the mother's breast, the child separates its mother from the
rest of the things of the world. And not only in the relief of hunger
is the mother active, but she gets to be associated with the relief
from wet and irritating clothes, the pleasant bath, and the pleasure
of the change of position that babies cry for. Her bosom and her
arms become sources of pleasure, and the race has immortalized them
as symbolic of motherhood, in song, in story and in myth.
Not only does he associate the mother with the milk but her very
presence brings him comfort, even when he is not hungry. It is within
the first few months of life that the child shows that he is a gregarious[1]
animal,--gregarious in the sense that he is unhappy away from others.
To be alone is thus felt to be essentially an evil, to be with others
is in itself a good. This gregarious feeling is the sine qua non
of social life: when we punish any one we draw away from him; when
we reward we get closer to him. All his life the child is to find
pleasure in being with people and unhappiness when away from them,
unless he be one of those in whom the gregarious instinct is lacking.
For instincts may be absent, just as eye pigment is; there are mental
albinos, lacking the color of ordinary human feeling. Or else some
experience may make others hateful to him, or he may have so intellectualized
his life that this instinct has atrophied. This gregarious feeling
will heighten his emotions, he will gather strength from the feeling
that "others are with him," he will join societies, clubs,
organizations in response to the same feeling that makes sheep graze
on a hillside in a group, that makes the monkeys in a cage squat
together, rubbing sides and elbows. The home in which our child
finds himself, though a social institution, is not gregarious; it
gives him only a limited contact, and as soon as he is able and
self-reliant he seeks out a little herd, and on the streets, in
the schoolroom and playground, he really becomes a happy little
herd animal.
[1] One of my children would stop crying if some
one merely entered his room when he was three weeks old. He was,
and is, an intensely gregarious boy.
Let us turn
back to the desire for activity. As the power to direct the eyes
develops, as hands become a little more sure, because certain pathways
in brain and cord "myelinize,"[1] become functional, the
outside world attracts in a definite manner and movements become
organized by desires, by purpose. It's a red-letter day in the calendar
of a human being when he first successfully "reaches"
something; then and there is the birth of power and of successful
effort. All our ideas of cause and effect originate when we cause
changes in the world, when we move a thing from thither to yon.
No philosopher, though he becomes so intellectualized that he cannot
understand how one thing or event causes another, ever escapes from
the feeling that HE causes effects. Purpose, resistance, success,
failure, cause, effect, these become inextricably wound up with
our thoughts and beliefs from the early days when, looking at a
dangling string, we reached for it once, twice, a dozen times and
brought it in triumph to our mouth. And our idea that there were
forbidden things came when the watchful mother took it out of our
mouth, saying, "No, no, baby mustn't!"
[1] At birth, though most of the great nervous
pathways are laid down, they are non-functional largely because
the fibers that compose them are unclothed, non-myelinated. The
various kinds of tracts have different times for becoming "myelinated"
as was the discovery of the great analogist, Flechsig.
At any rate,
the organization of activity for definite purposes starts. The little
investigator is apparently obsessed with the idea that everything
it can reach, including its fingers and toes, are good to eat, for
everything reached is at once brought to the mouth, the primitive
curiosity thus being gustatory. In this research the baby finds
that some few things are pleasant, many indifferent and quite a
few disgusting and even painful, which may remain as a result not
far different from that obtained by investigation in later years.
The desire for pleasant things commences to guide its activities.
Every new thing is at once an object for investigation, perhaps
because its possibilities for pleasure are unknown. That curiosity
may have some such origin is at least a plausible statement. At
any rate, desire of a definite type steps in to organize the mere
desire for activity; and impulse is controlled by purpose.
The child learns to creep, and the delight in progression lies in
the fact that far more things are accessible for investigation,
for rearrangement, for tasting. It is no accident that we speak
of our "tastes" that we say, "I want to taste of
experience." That is exactly what the child creeping on the
floor seeks,--to taste of experience and to anticipate, to realize,
to learn. Out of the desire for activity grows a desire for experience
born of the pleasure of excitement that we spoke of previously.
This desire for experience becomes built up into strange forms under
teaching and through the results of experience. It is very strong
in some who become explorers, roues, vagabonds, scientists as a
result, and it is very weak in others who stay at home and seek
only the safe and limited experience. You see two children in one
room,--and one sits in the middle of the floor, perhaps playing
with a toy or looking around, and the other has investigated the
stove and found it hotter than he supposed, has been under the table
and bumped his head, has found an unusually sweet white lump which
in later life he will call sugar. The good child is often without
sufficient curiosity to be bad, whereas the bad child may be an
overzealous seeker of experience.
So our child reaching out for things develops ideas of cause, effect
and power, commences to have an idea of himself as a cause and likes
the feeling of power. As he learns to walk, the world widens, his
sense of power grows, and his feeling of personality increases.
Meanwhile another side of his nature has been developing and one
fully as important.
The persons in his world have become quite individual; mother is
now not alone, for father is recognized with pleasure as one who
likewise is desirable. He carries one on his shoulder so that a
pleasurable excitement results; he plays with one, holds out strings
and toys and other instruments for the obtaining of experience.
Usually both of these great personages are friendly, their faces
wear a smile or a tender look, and our little one is so organized
that smiles and tender looks awaken comfortable feelings and he
smiles in return. The smile is perhaps the first great message one
human being sends to another; it says, "See, I am friendly,
I wish you well." Later on in the history of the child, he
will learn much about smiles of other kinds, but at this stage they
are all pleasant. Though his parents are usually friendly and give,
now and then they deprive, and they look different; they say, "No,
no!" This "no, no" is social inhibition, it is backed
up by the power of deprivation, punishment, disapproval; it has
its power in a something in our nature that gives society its power
over us. From now there steps in a factor in the development of
character of which we have already spoken, a group of desires that
have their source in the emotional response of the child to the
parent, in the emotional response of an individual to his group.
Out of the social pressure arises the desire to please, to win approval,
to get justification, and these struggle in the mind of the child
with other desires.
We said the child seeks experience,--but not only on his own initiative.
The father stands against the wall, perhaps with one foot crossing
the other. Soon he feels a pressure and looks down; there is the
little one standing in his imitation of the same position. Imitation,
in my belief, is secondary to a desire for experience. The child
does not imitate everything; he is equipped to notice only simple
things, and these he imitates. Why? The desire to experience what
others are experiencing is a basic desire; it expresses both a feeling
of fellowship and a competitive feeling. We do not feel a strong
tendency to imitate those we dislike or despise, or do not respect,
we tend to imitate those we love and respect, those for whom we
have a fellow feeling. Part of the fellow feeling is an impulse
to imitate and to receive in a positive way the suggestion offered
by their conduct and manners.
Analogous to imitation, and part of the social instinct, is a credulity,
a willingness to accept as if personally experienced things stated.
Part of the seeking of experience is the asking of questions, because
the mind seeks a cause for every effect, a something to work from.
Indeed, one of the main mental activities lies in the explaining
of things; an unrest is felt in the presence of the "not understood"
which is not stilled until the unknown is referred back to a thing
understood or accepted without question. The child finds himself
in a world with laid-down beliefs and with explanations of one kind
or another for everything. His group differs from other groups in
its explanations and beliefs; his family even may be peculiar in
these matters. He asks, he is answered and enjoined to believe.
Without credulity there could be no organization of society, no
rituals, no ceremonials, no religions and customs,--but without
the questioning spirit there could be no progress. Most of the men
and women of this world have much credulity and only a feeble questioning
tendency, but there are a few who from the start subject the answers
given them to a rigid scrutiny and who test belief by results. Let
any one read the beliefs of savages, let him study the beliefs of
the civilized in the spirit in which he would test the statement
of the performance of an automobile, and he can but marvel at man's
credulity. Belief and the acceptance of authority are the conservative
forces of society, and they have their origin in the nursery when
the child asks, "Why does the moon get smaller?" and the
mother answers, "Because, dear, God cuts a piece off every
day to make the stars with." The authorities, recognizing that
their power lay in unquestioning belief, have always sanctified
it and made the pious, non-skeptical type the ideal and punished
the non-believer with death or ostracism. Fortunately for the race,
the skeptic, if silenced, modifies the strength of the belief he
attacks and in the course of time even they who have defended begin
to shift from it and it becomes refuted. Beliefs, as Lecky[1] so
well pointed out, are not so of ten destroyed as become obsolete.
[1] Lecky: "History of European Morals."
As he points out, the belief in witchcraft never was disproved,
it simply died because science made it impossible to believe that
witches could disorganize natural laws.
It may seem
as if imitation were a separate principle in mental growth, and
there have been many to state this. As is well known Tarde made
it a leading factor in human development. It seems to me that it
is linked up with desire for experience, desire for fellowship,
and also with a strongly competitive feeling, which is early manifest
in children and which may be called "a want of what the other
fellow has." Children at the age of a year and up may be perfectly
pleased with what they have until they see another child playing
with something,--something perhaps identical with their own. They
then betray a decided, uncontrollable desire for the other child's
toy; they are no longer content with their own, and by one means
or another they seek to get it,--by forcible means, by wheedling
or coaxing, or by tormenting their parents. The disappearance of
contentment through the competitive feeling, the competitive nature
of desire, the role that envy plays in the happiness and effort
of man, is a thesis emphasized by every moralist and philosopher
since the beginning of things. In the strivings of every man, though
he admit it or not, one of the secret springs of his energy is this
law of desire, that a large part of its power and persistence is
in the competitive feeling, is in envy and the wish to taste what
others are experiencing.
A basic law of desire lies in an observation of Lotze, elaborated
by William James. We may talk of selfishness and altruism as if
they were entirely separate qualities of human nature. But what
seems to be true is that one is an extension of the other, that
is, we are always concerned with the ego feeling, but in the one
case the ego feeling is narrow and in the other case it includes
others as part of the ego. Lotze's observations on clothes shows
that we expend ego feeling in all directions, that we tend to be
as tall as our top hats and as penetrating as our walking sticks,
that the man who has a club in his hand has a tactile sense to the
very end of the club. James in his marvelous chapter on the various
selves points out that a man's interests and affections are his
selves, and that they enclose one another like the petals of a rose.
We may speak of unipetalar selves, who include only their own bodies
in self-feeling; of bipetalar selves who include in it their families,
and from there on we go to selves who include their work, their
community, their nation, until we reach those very rare souls whose
petals cover all living things. So men extend their self-feeling,
if ambitious, to their work, to their achievements,--if paternal
to their children; if domestic, to wife and home; if patriotic to
the nation, etc. Development lies in the extension of the self-feeling
and in the increase of its intensity. But the obstacle lies in the
competitive feelings, in that dualism of man's nature that makes
him yearn not only for fellowship, but also for superiority. These
desires are in eternal opposition, but are not necessarily antagonistic,
any more than are the thumb and the little finger as they meet in
some task, any more than are excitation and inhibition. Every function
in our lives has its check and balance, and fellowship, yearning
and superiority urge one another.
From the cradle to the grave, we desire fellowship as an addition
to our gregarious feeling. We ask for approval, for we expand under
sympathy and contract under cold criticism. Nothing is so pleasant
as "appreciation," which means taking us at our own valuation
or adding to it,, and there is no complaint so common as, "They
don't understand me," which merely means, "They blame
me without understanding that I really seek the good, that I am
really good, though perhaps I seem not to be." The child who
hurts its thumb runs to its mother for sympathy, and the pain is
compensated for, at least in part, by that sympathy. Throughout
life we desire sympathy for our hurts, except where that sympathy
brings with it a feeling of inferiority. To be helped by others
in one way or another is the practical result of this aspect of
fellowship.
(There is a convincing physical element in the feelings and desires
of man, evidenced in language and phrase. Superiority equals aboveness,
inferiority equals beneathness; sympathy equals the same feeling.
To criticize is to "belittle" and to cause the feeling
of littleness; to praise is "to make a man expand," to
enlarge him. Blame hurts one's feelings,--"He wounded me,"
etc.)
At the same time we are strangely affected by the condition of others.
Where no competitive-jealousy complex is at work, we laugh with
other people in their happiness, we are moved to tears by suffering;
we admire vigor, beauty and the fine qualities of others; we accept
their purposes and beliefs; we are glad to agree with the stranger
or the friend and hate to disagree. We establish within ourselves
codes and standards largely because we wish to accept and believe
and act in the same way as do those we want as fellows. Having set
up that code as conscience or ideals, it helps us to govern our
lives, it gives a stability in that we tend at once to resist jealousy,
envy, the "wrong" emotions and actions. "Helping
others" becomes a great motive in life, responding to misery
with tears, consolation and kindness, reacting to the good deeds
of others with praise. To be generous and charitable becomes method
for the extension of fellowship.
Asking for help in its varied form of praise, appreciation and kindness,
giving help as appreciation and kindness, are the weak and strong
aspects of the fellowship feelings. It is a cynical view of life,
perhaps, but it is probably true that the weak phase is more common
and more constant than the second. Almost everybody loves praise
and appreciation, for these enlarge the ego feeling, and some, perhaps
most, like to be helped, though here, as was above stated, there
is a feeling of inferiority aroused which may be painful. Relatively
there are few who are ready to praise, especially those with whom
they are in close contact and with whom they are in a sort of rivalry.
The same is true of genuine appreciation, of real warm fellow feeling;
the leader, the hero, the great man receives that but not the fellow
next door. As for giving, charity, kindness, these are common enough
in a sporadic fashion, but rarely are they sustained and constant,
and often they have to depend on the desire "not to be outdone,"
not to seem inferior,--have, as it were, to be shamed into activity.
For there is competition even in fellowship.
There are people, especially among the hysterics, who are deeply
wounded when sympathy is not given, when appreciation and praise
is withheld or if there is the suggestion of criticism. They are
people of a "tender ego," not self-sustaining, demanding
the help of others and reacting to the injury sustained, when it
is not given, by prolonged emotion. These sensitive folk, who form
a most difficult group, do not all react alike, of course. Some
respond with anger and ideas of persecution, some with a prolonged
humiliation and feeling of inferiority; still others develop symptoms
that are meant to appeal to the conscience of the one who has wounded
them. On the other hand, there are those whose feeling of self sustains
them in the face of most criticism, who depend largely upon the
established mentor within themselves and who seek to conform to
the rulings of that inward mentor. Such people, if not martyred
too soon, and if possessed of a fruitful ideal, lay new criteria
for praise and blame.
Contrasting with the desires and purposes of fellowship we find
the desires and purposes of superiority and power. Primarily these
are based on what McDougall calls the instinct of self-display,
which becomes intellectualized and socialized very early in the
career of the child. In fact, we might judge a man largely by the
way he displays himself, whether by some essentially personal bodily
character, some essentially mental attribute or some essentially
moral quantity; whether he seeks superiority as a means of getting
power or as a means of doing good; whether he seeks it within or
without the code. One might go on indefinitely, including such matters
as whether he seeks superiority with tact or the reverse and whether
he understands the essential shallowness and futility of his pursuit
or not. To be superior is back of most of striving, and it is the
most camouflaged of all human motives and pleasures. For this is
true: that the preaching of humility, of righteous conduct, of service,
of self-sacrifice, by religion and ethics have convinced man that
these are the qualities one ought to have. So men seek, whenever
they can, to dress their other motives and feelings in the garb
of altruism.
Camouflage of motive as a means of social approval has thus become
a very important part of character; we seek constantly to penetrate
the camouflage of our rivals and enemies and bitterly resist any
effort to strip away our own, often enough hiding it successfully
from ourselves. There are few who face boldly their own egoism,
and their sincerity is often admired. Indeed, the frank child is
admired because his egoism is refreshing, i. e., he offers no problem
to the observer. Out of the uneasiness that we feel in the presence
of dissimulation and insincerity has arisen the value we place on
sincerity, frankness and honesty. To be accused of insincerity or
dishonesty of motive and act is fiercely resented.
The desire for power and superiority will of course take different
directions in each person, according to his make-up, teaching and
the other circumstances of his life. Property as a means of pleasure,
and as a symbol of achievement and of personal worth, is valued
highly from the earliest days of the child's life. Very early does
the child show that it prizes goods, shows an acquisitive trend
that becomes finally glorified into a goal, an ambition. Money and
goods become the symbol and actuality of power, triumph, superiority,
pleasure, safety, benevolence and a dozen and one other things.
Men who seek money and goods may therefore be seeking very different
things; one is merely acquisitive, has the miser trend; another
loves the game for the game's sake, picks up houses, bonds, money,
ships, as a fighter picks up trophies, and they stand to him as
symbols of his superiority. Some see in property the fulcrum by
which they can apply the power that will shift the lives of other
men and make of themselves a sort of God or Fate in the destinies
of others. For others, and for all in part, there is in money the
safety against emergencies and further a something that purchases
pleasure, whether that pleasure be of body, or taste or spirit.
Wine and women, pictures and beautiful things, leisure for research
and contemplation,--money buys any and all of these, and as the
symbol of all kinds of value, as the symbol of all kinds of power,
it is sought assiduously by all kinds of men.
There are many who start on their careers with the feeling and belief
that money is a minor value, that to be useful and of service is
greater than to be rich. But this idealistic ambition in only a
few cases stands up against the strain of life. Unless money comes,
a man cannot marry, or if he marries, then his wife must do without
ease and leisure and pretty things, and he must live in a second-rate
way. Sooner or later the idealist feels himself uneasily inferior,
and though he may compensate by achievement or by developing a strong
trend towards seclusiveness, more often he regrets bitterly his
idealism and in his heart envies the rich. For they, ignorant and
arrogant, may purchase his services, his brains and self-sacrifice
and buy these ingredients of himself with the air of one purchasing
a machine. So the idealist finds himself condemned to a meager life,
unless his idealism brings him wealth, and he drifts in spirit away
from the character of his youth. It is the strain of life, the fear
of old age and sickness, the silent pressure of the deprivations
of a man's beloved ones, the feeling of helplessness in disaster
and the silent envious feeling of inferiority that makes inroads
in the ranks of the idealists so that at twenty there are ten idealists
to the one found at forty.
I remember well one of my colleagues, working patiently in a laboratory,
out of sight of the world and out of the stream of financial reward,
enthused by science and service, who threw up his work and went
into the practice of medicine. "Why?" I asked him. "Because
when one of my brothers took sick and was in dire need, I who loved
him could not help. I had no money, and all my monographs put together
could not help him buy a meal. There is a cousin of ours, who has
grown rich running a cheap moving-picture house, where the taste
of the community is debauched every day. He lent my brother two
thousand dollars out of his superfluities; it involved no sacrifice
to him, for he purchased a third car at the same time--and yet HE
is our savior. Love alone is a torture. I am going to get money."
The world is built up on the sacrifices of the idealists, and eternally
it crucifies them. Wealth and power are to him who has a marketable
commodity, and one cannot complain when true genius becomes rich.
But the genius to make money may be and often is--an exploiting
type of ability, a selfishly practical industry, which neither invents
nor is of great service. The men who now do the basic work in invention
and scientific work in laboratories are poorly paid and only now
and then honored. Every year in the United States hundreds of them
leave their work in research and seek "paying jobs," to
the impoverishment of the world, but to their own financial benefit.
Countries where the scramble for wealth is not so keen, where the
best brains do not find themselves pressed into business, produce
far more science, art and literature than we do, with all our wealth.
We will continue to be a second-rate nation in these regards, still
looking for our great American novel and play, still seeking real
singers and artists, until our idealism can withstand the pressure
of our practical civilization.
For here is a great division in people. There are those who become
enthused by the noble aims of life, by the superiority and service
that come in the work of teacher, priest, physician, scientist,
philosopher and philanthropist, and those that seek superiority
and power in wealth, station and influence. Those who, will fellowship
and those who will power is a short way of putting it, the idealists
and the practical is another. Fellowship is built up on sympathy,
pity, friendliness and the desire to help others; it is essentially
democratic, and in it runs the cooperative activities of man. For
it is not true that "competition is the life of trade";
cooperation is its life. Men dig ore in mines, others transport
their produce, others smelt it and work it into shape, according
to the designs and plans of still other men; then it is transported
by new groups and marketed by an endless chain of men whose labors
dovetail to the end that mankind has a tool, a habitation or an
ornament. The past and present cooperate in this labor, as do the
remote ends of the earth. Competition is the SPUR of trade; its
mighty sinews, its strong heart and stout lungs are cooperative.
Power is aristocratic, and elaborates and calls into play competitive
spirit. In all men the desire for power and the desire for fellowship
blend and interplay in their ambitions and activities; in some fellowship
predominates, in others power. If a man specializes in fellowship
aims, without learning the secret of power, he is usually futile
and sterile of results; if a man seeks power only and disregards
fellowship, is hated and is a tyrant, cruel and without pity. To
be an idealist and practical is of course difficult and usually
involves a compromise of the ideal. Some degree of compromise is
necessary, and the rigid idealist would have a better sanction for
his refusal to compromise if he or any one could be sure of the
perfection of his ideal.
The practical seek their own welfare or the welfare of others through
direct means, through exerting the power and the influence that
is money and station. Rarely do they build for a distant future,
and their goal is in some easily and popularly understood good.
What they say and what they do applies to getting rich or healthy,
to being good in a conventional way; success is their goal and that
success lies in the tangibles of life. They easily become sordid
and mean, since it is not possible always to separate good and evil
when one is governed by expediency and limited idea of welfare.
This is also true,--that while the practical usually tend to lose
idealism entirely, and find themselves the tools of habits and customs
they cannot break from, now and then a practical man reaches a high
place of power and becomes the idealist.
Though all men seek power and fellowship, we have a right to ask
what are a man's leading pursuits. And we must be prepared to tear
off a mask before we understand the most of our fellows, for society
and all of life is permeated with disguise. Now and then one seeks
to appear worse than he is, hates fuss and praise, but this rare
bird (to use slang and Latin in one phrase) is the exception that
proves the rule that men on the whole try to appear better than
they are. Rarely does a man say, "I am after profit and nothing
else," although occasionally he does; rarely does the scientist
say, "I seek fame and reward," even though his main stimulus
may be this desire and not the ideal of adding to the knowledge
of the world. Behind the philanthropist may lurk the pleasure in
changing the lives of others, behind the reformer the picture of
himself in history. The best of men may and do cherish power motives,
and we must say that to seek power is ethically good, provided it
does not injure fellowship. One must not, however, be misled by
words; duty, service, fellowship come as often to the lips of the
selfish as the unselfish.
We spoke of power as a form of superiority. Since all superiority
is comparative, there are various indirect ways of seeking superiority
and avoiding inferiority. One of these is by adverse criticism of
our fellows. The widespread love of gossip, the quick and ever-present
tendency to disparage others, especially the fortunate and the successful,
are manifestations of this type of superiority seeking. Half the
humor of the world is the pleasure, produced by a technique, of
feeling superior to the boor, the pedant, the fool, the new rich,
the pompous, the over-dignified, etc. Half, more than half, of the
conversation that goes on in boudoir, dining room, over the drinks
and in the smoking room, is criticism, playful and otherwise, of
others. There are people in whom the adversely critical spirit is
so highly developed that they find it hard to praise any one or
to hear any one praised--their criticism leaps to the surface in
one way or another, in the sneer, in the "butt," in the
joke, in the gibe, in the openly expressed attack. This way of being
superior may be direct and open, more often it is disguised. Many
a woman (and man) who denounces the sinner receives from her contemplation
of that sinner the most of her feeling of virtue and goodness. The
more bitterly the self-acknowledged "saint" denounces
the sinner, the more, by implication, he praises himself.
People seek the strangest roads to the feeling of superiority. From
that classical imbecile who burnt down the Temple of Diana to the
crop of young girls who invent tales of white slavery in order to
stand in the public eye as conspicuous victims, notoriety has been
mistaken for fame by those desperate for public attention. To be
superior some way, even if only in crime and foolishness, brings
about an immense amount of laughable and deplorable conduct to which
only a Juvenal could do justice. The world yields to superiority
such immense tribute that to obtain recognition as superior becomes
a dominant motive. How that superiority is to be reached presents
great difficulties, and the problem is solved according to the character
of the individual.
At the same time that we seek superiority we seek to be liked, to
be esteemed, to be respected. These are not the same things, but
are sufficiently alike in principle to be classed together. With
some the desire to be liked becomes a motive that ruins firmness
of purpose and success, as in the well-known "good fellow,"--accommodating,
obliging and friendly, who sacrifices achievement to this minor
form of fellowship. On a larger plane there is the writer or artist
who sacrifices his best capacities in order to please the popular
fancy, seeks popularity rather than greatness, for it is seldom
that the two coincide. Back of many a man's "respectability"
is the fear of being disliked or discredited by his group. TO BE
RESPECTABLE, TO LIVE SO THAT NEITHER THE NEIGHBORS NOR ONE'S OWN
RATHER UNCRITICAL CONSCIENCE CAN CRITICIZE, IS PERHAPS THE MOST
COMMON AIM IN LIFE. There are some who are all things to all men,
merely out of the desire to be agreeable, who find it easy to agree
with any opinion, because they have not the courage to be disliked.
Even the greatest men yield to the desire to be admired and liked,
though the test of greatness is unpopularity.
For there never can be a real and lasting democ-racy in belief,
opinion and ideal. The mass must always lag behind the leaders,
since it takes a generation or two for the ideas of the old leaders
to permeate any society. Now and then a great leader finds a great
following in his own lifetime, but his leadership rarely involves
a new principle. There will always be a few ground breakers, behind
them a few straggling followers, and far, far behind, the great
mass of mankind.
This digression aside, to be popular, agreeable and entertaining
are both aims and weapons. Most of us would infinitely rather be
liked than disliked, and with some it is a passion and a weakness.
But to be popular, to be a good fellow, is an extraordinarily useful
trait when combined with firm purposes and good intelligence. The
art of life is to please, though its business is achievement and
success, and here the art may further the business. Manners, courtesy
and certain of the abilities, such as musical talent, story telling
and humor are cultivated largely, though not wholly, out of the
desire to please.
Manners and courtesy are really standardized methods of behavior,
which are to adjust us in a pleasing way to our superiors, equals
and inferiors, and to the various conventional situations of life.
Naturally these will vary greatly in different ages and different
countries. A democracy acknowledging in theory no superiors will
insist that every man be called "sir" and every woman
"madam," whereas an aristocracy laughs at that. In reality
there is no democracy anywhere, and so we address differently the
woman of the mansion and the woman of the hovel, The mistress of
the house calls her maid by her first name but would wonder what
the world is coming to if the maid became as familiar. In a limited
sense, manners and courtesy are conventional ways of doing things,
as the way of living, the tipping of the hat, the form of greetings,
the way of eating, but these conventions have great value to the
majority of people as evidencing breeding and training or the lack
(superiority or inferiority), and also as removing doubt and choice,
so that things run smoothly and without contradiction. In a more
noble sense, manners and courtesy prescribe conduct in order to
proscribe offense to the self-valuation of others. Convention says,
"Address people as if they were your equals at least; don't
contradict brusquely because that implies their inferiority or stupidity;
avoid too controversial topics since bitterness and humiliation
may thus arise; do not notice defects or disabilities for the same
reason; do not brag or be too conspicuous, since to boast of superiority
is to imply the inferiority of others, and they will dislike you,"
etc. We tend to dislike and hate those who make us feel inferior,
except under those special circumstances where sex-love, awe and
admiration enter to make a certain inferiority desirable or befitting.
So a large part of manners and courtesy concern themselves with
the formulae of conduct which avoid this result to others, and we
are also enjoined to conduct ourselves so that others will not regard
us as inferior. We speak of a man as a "low person" if
he eats with his knife, and very few things so humiliate us as the
knowledge that we have behaved in an unmannerly way. One of the
great purposes, then, is to be conventional, to behave, dress and
"look" according to an accepted standard, one that is
laid down for age, sex and social station. There are people to whom
convention is truly almost holy, and true to our principle of variability,
there are others who hate convention.
Because many writers have shot shafts of satire and ridicule at
convention and custom, and because of the enormous reading public,
the artificial nature of convention has been emphasized to that
large part of the community that desires to be different merely
for the sake of being different, and there is built up a conventional
unconventionality. It has become the mark of the artist, the great
in spirit, to be unconventional (at least in novels), and so there
are a hundred "unconventional" poseurs to one genuinely
free in spirit. Anything that becomes a dogma or a cult is not unconventional,
for it is the standard or the custom of a group. Most Bohemians,
so-called, are poseurs and conventionalized to their marrow. And
most of the really unconventional are "freaks," "odd
sticks" whose grotesque individualities cannot conform. But
in the mass of the unconventional one finds here and there, like
nuggets of gold in sand, the true reformers of the world.
The "poseurs" in custom have their analogies in the pompous,
over-dignified and over-important; the affected, in a word. Affectation
is felt to be a disharmony between the pose and the inner values
or an attempt to win superiority or "difference" of a
superior kind by acting. In either case it excites ridicule, hatred
or disgust, and shafts at it form part of the stock in trade of
the satirist, humorist and indeed every portrayer of life. What
men demand of each other is sincerity, and even where the insincerity
is merely a habitual pose it arouses hostile feeling which expresses
itself all the way from criticism to the overt act.
Since to feel superior is so highly prized in social relationships
of all kinds, part of the technique of those seeking some advantage
or other--economic, social, personal--from those who must be influenced
is to give them the feeling of superiority. Flattery, cajolement,
humble supplication and the finer maneuvers of tact, all have this
in mind. These however are palatable to the intelligent only when
felt to be sincere and when emanating from some one more or less
esteemed, though there are plenty who "fall" for the grossest
flattery from almost any one, whose ego feeling is easily inflated
with a corresponding shrinking in judgment and common sense. In
the relations of men and women, flattery in one shape or another
plays an enormous role --from the effect on women of the statement
or implication in a subtle or gross way that they are charming,
and the effect on men of acknowledged superiority in strength courage
or intelligence. Of course, in both cases the effect is partly in
the physical attractiveness of the flatterer and tends to become
ridiculous when he or she is without charm. The simpering language
that is irresistible when uttered by a starry-eyed maid of eighteen
loses somewhat in beauty and effect when emanating from the lips
of bespectacled forty. The power to use and the power to resist
flattery in any of its forms have played almost as great a role
in the history of the race as strength, beauty or intelligence.
It would be futile to elaborate in detail the various ways of seeking
superiority or resisting inferiority. Two directions of this impulse
need some attention, as they lead to personality traits of great
importance. "Having one's way" becomes a dominant desire
with many people, and much of the clashing that occurs in families,
organizations and the council chambers of nations arises from a
childish, egoistic seeking of superiority. People enter into the
most heated and sterile arguments, often coming to blows, if the
course of conduct they desire to have followed is modified or blocked.
Even when secretly convinced that they are wrong, husbands and wives
will continue to insist on victory, for too often the domestic relationship
is a struggle for leadership and dominance rather than a partnership
and a conference. Two heads are better than one when the intelligence
within the heads is of good grade and when the desire for superiority
does not take trivial directions. And the effect of yielding to
the whims of children is to develop an irritable, domineering egoism
bent on having its own way, resisting reasonable compromise or correction.
The greatest benefit of discipline and above all of contact with
equals to a child is in the effect on this phase of egoism, i. e.,
that cooperation means compromise; to be reasonable implies listening
with respect to others' plans and to accept better ways of doing
things, even if they have originated with others; in other ways
the subordinating of trivial egoism. The large families of other
days offered the conflict of wills and its consequent lesson within
the home; to-day the solitary child, or the one whose brother or
sister is three, four or five years younger or older must go into
the streets to obtain this discipline or else go without. The indulged
have this form of inferior egoism more than do those who have been
roughly handled, and so it is more common in women of the better-to-do
classes and in men who have always exercised authority. It is of
course found in what is known as the stubborn person, --he whose
will is law to himself and who seeks to make it law to others. Ordinarily
the stubborn person is merely a nuisance, but also, if he couples
that stubbornness with intelligence and some especial ability, he
may reach great heights, though he is seldom popular.
A sub-form of having one's own way is the adherence to one's own
"opinion." The clash of opinions is in its noblest aspect
the basis of knowledge; the correction of opinion that results when
man meets man is the growth of tolerance and urbanity. Wide reading,
travel and experience teach us that our opinions can never be absolutely
right, and we grow to look upon them in a detached sort of way.
In fact, the prime result of the growth of intelligence and of experience
is to make one, as it were, objective toward oneself, to view one's
own thoughts, beliefs and emotions with some humor and skepticism.
But the uncultured, the narrow, the inexperienced, the young and
the strongly egotistic never detach themselves from their opinions,
and their opinions are themselves. Attack an opinion, contradict
or amend it,--and a sort of fighting spirit is aroused. Argument
differs from discussion in that it seeks all means to win--ridicule,
sophistry, and personal attack --and it is by far the more common.
There was a time when opinion was entirely enslaved, when only the
ruler might venture on a new belief or its expression; then there
came a time when the right to freedom of opinion and its expression
was conceded, and now, with huge forces confronting one another,
freedom of opinion[1] is again threatened. But that is an issue
larger than our subject.
[1] The most profound contribution to the subject
of discussion and freedom of opinion in recent years has been written
by Walter Lippman in the Atlantic Monthly, September, 1920.
You may judge
a man by his type of argument and his reaction to the opinions of
others. One should hold to his own beliefs and opinions, but only
if they withstand the assaults of reason. To build ego feeling into
opinions is to make ignorance sacred. For most of us there are certain
opinions that we will not tolerate, and there are others to which
we are indifferent. There are those who feel it incumbent on themselves
to contradict any opinion, even if they agree fundamentally with
it. The mere fact that some one else gave it utterance arouses a
sort of jealousy. Then there are others who will not permit any
opinion of their own to be discussed, to whom it is a personal affront
to do this. What we call urbanity is tolerance of other opinions;
what we call reasonableness is the willingness to change opinions
if convinced. What we call vacillation is to have no fixed opinion,
to be influenced at once by the opinions of others. The pleasure
sought in argument is a victory for our opinions and thus for ourselves.
Here Montaigne's wisdom aptly expresses itself: "We deride
ourselves a hundred times when we mock our neighbor." He is
stubborn and unreasonable who does not agree with us. "Be reasonable,"
cry the unreasonable as they argue. "How stubborn and pigheaded
you are," say those inaccessible to reason. The difficulty
in reaching a true estimate of the world, ourselves and our neighbors
lies in the egoism which permeates our beliefs and opinions.
A second direction of the impulse to superiority is personal beauty.
Not only does the young girl (or any other, male or female) dress
and adorn herself to attract those whose good opinion she seeks,
but also she seeks superiority over her competitors. Her own self-valuation
increases with the admiration of some and the discomfiture of others.
To be beautiful, attractive or pretty becomes thus a goal to many
aims of the personality; it offers a route to success in obtaining
power, riches, etc.; it yields the longed-for admiration, and it
gives the satisfaction of superiority. It rarely has in it any ideal
of service or of help, though beauty in the abstract is an ideal
of high value. To desire to be beautiful physically as a leading
aim usually leads to selfishness and petty vanity. As a subsidiary
aim it balances character, but unfortunately, as we have before
seen, it is inculcated as a primary aim early in the life of a girl.
True, men seek to be beautiful in a masculine way, but the goal
of masculine beauty is strength, which is directly serviceable.
This is not to say that there are no men who are vain of their good
looks, for there are many. But only occasionally does one find a
man who organizes his life efforts to be beautiful, who establishes
criteria of success or failure on complexion, hair, features of
face and lines of figure. So long, therefore, as woman can obtain
power through beauty and sex appeal, so long may we expect a trivial
trend in her character.
We have lost track of our hypothetical child in the history of his
character development, lost sight of him as he struggles in a morass
of desires and purposes of power, fellowship and superiority. His
situations become still more complex as we watch him seek to unify
his life around permanent purposes, against a pestering, surging,
recurring, temporary desire. He desires, let us say, to conform
to the restriction in sex, but as he approaches adolescence, within
and without stimuli of breathless ardor assail him. He must inhibit
them if he proposes to be chaste, and his continent road is beset
with never-resting temptations. He calls himself a fool at times
for resisting, and his mind pictures the delights he misses--if
not from direct experience, from information he gathers in books
and from those who know--and if he yields, then self-reproach embitters
him. But correctly to portray the situation is to drop our hypothetical
adolescent, for here is where individual reaction and individual
situations are too varied to be met with in one case. Some do not
inhibit their sex desires at all; others resist now and then, others
yield occasionally; still others remain faithful to the ideal. Some
drop the conventional ideal and replace with unconventional substitutes,
some resist at great cost to themselves, and others find no difficulty
in resisting what is no temptation at all to them. Passion, resistance,
opportunity, training and sublimation differ as remarkably as nuns
differ from prostitutes.
A similar situation is found in the work purposes. To work steadily,
with industry and unflagging effort, at something perhaps not inherently
attractive is not merely a measure of energy,--it is a measure of
inhibition and will. For there are so many more immediate pleasures
to be had, even if offering only variety and relaxation. There is
the country, there is the lake for fishing; there is the dance hall
where a pretty girl smiles as your arm encircles her waist; there
is the ball field where on a fine day you may go and forget duty
and strained effort in the swirl of an enthusiasm that emanates
from the thousands around you as they applaud the splendid athletes;
there is the good fellowship and pleasure that beckon as you bend
to a task. To shut these out, to inhibit the temporary "good"
for the permanent good, is the measure of character.
These sex and work situations we must take up in detail in separate
chapters. What is important is that as life goes on, necessity,
the social organization and gradual concentration of energy canalize
the purposes, reduce the power of the irrelevant and temporary desires.
Habit and custom bring a person into definite relationship with
society; the man becomes husband, father, worker in some definite
field of industry; ambition becomes narrowed down to the possibilities
or is entirely discarded as hopeless. The character becomes a collection
of habits, with some controlling purpose and some characteristic
relaxations. This at least is true of the majority of men. Here
and there are those who have not been able to form a unification
even along such simple lines; they are without steady habits, derelicts
morally, financially and socially, or if with means independent
of personal effort they are wastrels and idlers. And again there
are the doers and thinkers of the world, the fortunate, whose lives
are associated with successful purposes, whose ambitions grow and
grow until they reach the power of which they dreamed. There are
the reformers living in a fever heat of purpose, disdaining rest
and relaxation, dangerously near fanaticism and not far from mental
unbalance, but achieving through that unbalance things the balanced
never have the will to attempt. He who works merely to get rich
or powerful or to provide food for his family cannot understand
the zealots who see the world as a place where SOMETHING MUST happen,--where
slavery MUST be abolished, women MUST have votes, children MUST
go to school until sixteen, prostitution MUST disappear, alcohol
MUST be prohibited, etc. Such people miss the pretty, pleasant relaxing
joys of life, but they gain in intensity of life what they lose
in diffuseness.
This war of the permanent unified purposes versus the temporary
scattering desires--the power of inhibition --is involved in the
health and vigor of the person. Disease, fatigue and often enough
old age show themselves in lowered purpose, in the failure of the
will (in the sense of the energy of purpose), in a scattering of
activity. Indeed, in the senile states one too often sees the disappearance
of moral control where one least expected it. And one of the greatest
tragedies of our times occurred when an elderly statesman, on the
brink of arterial disease of the brain, lost the strength and firmness
of purpose that hitherto had characterized him. One of the worst
features of the government of nations is the predominance of old
men in the governing bodies. For not only are they apt to have over-intellectualized
life, not only have they become specialists in purpose and therefore
narrow, but the atrophy of the passions and desires of youth and
middle life has rendered them unfit to legislate for the bulk of
the race, who are the young and middle-aged. It is no true democracy
where old age governs the rest of the periods of life.
Unification of purpose often goes too far. Men lose sight of the
duties they owe to wife and family in their pursuit of wealth or
fame; they forget that relaxation and pleasure-seeking are normal
and legitimate aims. They deify a purpose; they attach it to themselves
so that it becomes more essentially themselves than their religion
or their family. They speak of their work as if every letter were
capitalized and lose sympathy and interest in the rest of the wide
striving world. Men grow hard, even if philanthropists, in too excessive
a devotion to a purpose, and soon it is their master, and they are
its slaves. Happy is he who can follow his purpose efficiently and
earnestly, but who can find interest in many things, pleasure in
the wide range of joys the world offers and a youthful curiosity
and zest in the new.
Every human being, no matter how civilized and unified, how modern
and social in his conduct, has within him a core of uncivilized,
disintegrating, ancient and egoistic desires and purposes. "I
feel two natures struggling within me" is the epitome of every
man's life. This is what has been called conflict by the psychoanalysts,
and my own disagreement with them is that I believe it to be distinctly
conscious in the main. A man knows that the pretty young girls he
meets tempt him from his allegiance to his wife and his desires
to be good; a woman knows that the prosaic husband no longer pleases,
and why he does not please,--only if you ask either of them bluntly
and directly they will deny their difficulties. The organic activities
of the body, basic in desire of all kinds, are crude and give rise
to crude forbidden wishes, but the struggle that goes on is repressed,
rebelled against and gives rise to trains of secondary symptoms,--fatigue,
headache, indigestion, weariness of life and many other complaints.
It is perfectly proper to complain of headache, but it is a humiliation
to say that you have chosen wrongly in marriage, or that you are
essentially polygamous, or that an eight-hour day of work at clerking
or bookkeeping disgusts and bores you. People complain of that which
is proper and allows them to maintain self-respect, but they hide
that which may lower them in the eyes of others. Gain their confidence,
show that you see deeper than their words and you get revelations
that need no psychoanalytic technique to elicit and which are distinctly
conscious.
This brings me to the point that the constant inhibition, blocking
and balking of desires and wishes, though in part socially necessary
and ethically justifiable, is decidedly wearisome, at times to all,
and to many at all times. It seems so easy and pleasant to relax
in purposes, in morals, in thought, to be a vagrant spirit seeking
nothing but the pleasures right at hand; to be like a traditional
bee flitting from the rose to rose of desire. (Only the bee is a
decidedly purposive creature, out for business not pleasure.) "Why
all this striving and self-control?" cries the unorganized
in all of us. "Why build up when Death tears down?" cries
the pessimist in our hearts. Great epochs in history are marked
by different answers to these questions, and in our own civilization
there has grown up a belief that bodily pleasure in itself is wrong,
that life is vanity unless yoked to service and effort. The Puritan
idea that we best serve God in this way has been modified by a more
skeptical idea that we serve man by swinging our efforts away from
bodily pleasure and toward work, organized to some good end; but
essentially the idea of inhibition, control, as the highest virtue,
remains. Such an ideal gains force for a time, then grows too wearisome,
too extreme, and a generation grows up that throws it off and seeks
pleasure frankly; paints, powders, dances, sings, develops the art
of "living," indulges the sense; becomes loose in morals,
and hyperesthetic and over-refined in tastes. Then the ennui, boredom
and disgust that always follow sensual pleasures become diffuse;
happiness cannot come through the seeking of pleasure and excitement
and anhedonia of the exhausted type arises. Preachers, prophets,
seers and poets vigorously proclaim the futility of pleasure, and
the happiness of service; inhibition comes into its own again and
a Puritan cycle recommences. Stoic, epicurean; Roman republic, Roman
empire; Puritan England, Restoration; Victorian days, early twentieth
century; for to-day we are surging into an era of revolt against
form, custom, tradition; in a word against inhibition.
As with periods, so with people; self-indulgence, i. e., indulgence
of the passing desires, follows the idealism of adolescence. Youth
sows its wild oats. Then the steadying purposes appear partly because
the pleasure of indulgence passes. Marriage, responsibility, straining
effort mark the passing of ten or a dozen years; then in middle
life, and often before, things get flat and without savor, monotony
creeps in and a curiosity as to the possibilities of pleasure formerly
experienced is awakened. (I believe that most of the sexual unfaithfulness
in men and women over thirty springs not from passion but from curiosity.)
There occurs a dangerous age in the late thirties and early forties,
one in which self-indulgence makes itself clamorous. The monotony
of labor, the fatigue of inhibition make themselves felt, and at
this time men (and women) need to add relaxation and pleasure of
a legitimate kind. Golf, the fishing trip, games of all kinds; legitimate
excitement which need not be inhibited is necessary. This need of
excitement without inhibition is behind most of the gambling and
card playing; it explains the extraordinary attraction of the detective
story and the thrilling movies; it gives great social value to the
prize fight and the ball game where you may see the staid and the
sober giving vent to an excitement that, may fatigue them for a
time but which clears the way for their next day's inhibitions.
Unfortunately too many mistake excitement for happiness. The forms
of relief from inhibition--card playing, sports, the theater, the
thrilling story and the movie--grow to be habits and lose their
exciting value. They can give no permanent relief from the pain
of repression; only a philosophy of life can do that. A philosophy
of life! One might write a few volumes on that (and there are so
many great philosophers already on the market), and yet such a philosophy
would only state that strenuous purpose must alternate with quiet
relaxation; excitement is to be sought only at periods and never
for any length of time; relief from inhibitions can only be found
in legitimate ways or self-reproach enters. Play, sports, short
frequent vacations rather than long ones, freedom from ceremony
as a rule--but now and then a full indulgence in ceremonials--and
a realization that there is no freedom in self-indulgence.
I remember one Puritanically bred young woman who fled from her
restrictions and inhibitions and joined a "free love"
colony in New York. After two years she left, them and came back
to New England. Her statement of the situation she found herself;
it summarizes all attempts at "freedom." "It wasn't
freedom. You found yourself bound to your desires, a slave to every
wish. It grew awfully tiresome and besides, it brought so many complications.
Sometimes you loved where you weren't loved--and vice versa. Jealousy
was there, oh, so much of it--and pleasure disappeared after a while.
It wasn't conscience--I still believe that right and wrong are arbitrary
matters --but I found myself envying people who had some guide,
some belief, some restrictions in themselves! For it seemed to me
they were more free than I."
The fact is, for most men and women inhibition is no artificial
phenomenon, despite its burdensomeness. It is not only inevitable,
it is desirable. A feeling of power appears when one resists; there
is mental gain, character growth as a result. Life must be purposive
else it is vain and futile, and the feeling of no achievement and
failure is far more disastrous than a thousand inhibitions.
Though man battles and compromises with himself, he also battles
and compromises with his fellows and circumstances. That is to say,
he must continually adjust himself to the unforeseen, the obstacle,
the favoring circumstance; the possible and impossible; the certain
and uncertain. Adjustment to reality is what the neurologists call
it, but they do not define reality, which indeed cannot be defined.
It is not the same thing for any two persons. For some reality is
success, for others it is virtue. The scientist smiles at the reality
of the love-sick girl, and she would think his reality a bad dream.
The artist says, "Beauty is the reality"; the miser says,
"Cash"; the sentimentalist answers, "None of this
but Love"; and the philosopher, aloof from all these, defines
reality as "Truth." And the skeptic asks, "What is
Truth?" We gain nothing by saying a man must adjust himself
to reality; we say something definite when we say he must adjust
his wishes to his abilities, to the opposing wills, wisher, and
abilities of others; to the needs of his family and his country;
to disease, old age and death; to the flux of the river of life.
In the quickness of adjustment we have a great character factor;
in the farsightedness of adjustment (foreseeing, planning) we have
another. Does a man take his difficulties with courage and good
cheer does he make the "best of it" or is he plunged into
doubt and indecision by obstacles or complications? Is he calm,
cool, collected, well poised, in that he watches and works without
too much emotion and maintains self-feeling against adversity? We
say a man is self-reliant when he finds in himself resources against
obstacles and does not call on his neighbors for help. We would
do well to extend the term to the one whose fund of courage, hope,
energy and resource springs largely from within himself; who resists
the forces that reduce courage, hope and energy. A higher sort of
man not only supplies himself with the energetic factors of character,
but he inspires, as we say, others; he is a sort of bank of these
qualities, with high reserves which he gives to others. Contrast
him with those whose cry constantly is "Help, help." Charming
they may be as ornaments, but they deplete the treasury of life
for their associates and are only of value as they call out the
altruism of others.
There is no formula for adjustment. Intelligence, insight into one's
powers and capacities, caution, boldness, compromise, firmness,
aggressiveness, tact,--these and a dozen other traits and qualities
come into play. It is a favorite teaching of optimistic sentimentalists,
"Will conquers everything--it is omnipotent." God's will
is,--but no one else's. What happens when two will and pray for
diametrically opposing results? "Then God is on the side of
the heaviest battalions," said Napoleon. Victory comes to the
best prepared, the most intelligent, the least hampered and the
luckiest. Outside of metaphysics and theology there is no abstract
will; it is a part of purpose, intelligence and instinct and shares
in their imperfections and limitations. To will the impossible is
to taste failure, although it may be difficult to know what is impossible.
Fight hard, be brave, keep your powder dry and have good friends
is the best counsel for adjustment. But learn resignation and cultivate
a sense of humor.
No inspiration in that? Well, I must leave inspiration to others
who have an infallible formula. The best I can offer in adjustment
is the old prayer, "Lord, make me love the chase and not the
quarry! Lord, make me live up to my ideals!"
Out of the welter of conflicts into which the individual is plunged
through his own nature and the nature of the life around him, out
of the experience of the race and the teaching of its leaders come
ideals. Good, Beauty, Justice,--these are good deeds, beautiful
things, true and non-contradictory expressions, just acts raised
to the divine and absolute, and therefore worshiped. And their opposite,
arising from evil deeds, ugly and disgusting things, misleading
experiences and suffering, become unified into various forms of
Evil. Life becomes divided into two parts, Good and Evil, and personified
(by the great majority) into God and the Devil. Man seeks the Good,
hates Evil, esteems himself when he conforms to the ideal, loathes
himself when he violates it. He cannot judge himself; he wishes
to know the judgment of others and accepts or rejects that judgment.
We say man seeks pleasure, satisfaction, the Good. True. But it
is important to know that essentially he seeks a higher self-valuation,
seeks to establish his own dignity and worth and has his highest
satisfaction when that valuation is reached through conformity with
absolute standards.
CHAPTER XII. THE METHODS OF PURPOSE--WORK CHARACTERS
Having asked concerning any person, "What are his purposes?"
whether of power or fellowship, whether permanent or transitory,
whether adjustable or not, we next ask, "How does he seek their
fulfillment?"
"He who wills the end wills the means" is an old saying,
but men who will the same end may will different means. There have
been those who used assassination to bring about reform, and there
are plenty who use philanthropy to hasten their egoistic aims. The
nihilist who throws a bomb to bring about an altruistic state is
own cousin to the ward heeler who gives coal to his poor constituents
so that his grafting rule may continue.
1. There are those who use the direct route of force to reach their
goal of desire and purpose. They attempt to make no nice adjustments
of their wishes to the wishes of others; the obstacle, whether human
or otherwise must get out of their way or be forcibly removed or
destroyed. "A straight line is the shortest distance between
two points," and there is only one absolute law,--"the
good old rule, the simple plan that they may take who have the power
and they may keep who can." The individuals who react this
way to obstacles are choleric, passionate, egoistic and in the last
analysis somewhat brutal. This is especially true if they seek force
at first, for with nearly all of us extreme provocation or desperation
brings direct-action measures.
Conspicuously those accustomed to arbitrary power use this method.
They have grown accustomed to believing that their will or wish
is a cause, able to remove obstacles of all kinds. When at all opposed
the angry reaction is extreme, and they tend to violence at once.
The old-fashioned home was modeled in tyranny, and the force reaction
of the father and husband to his children and wife was sanctioned
by law and custom. The attitude of the employer to employee, universally
in the past and still prominent, was that of the master, able in
ancient times to use physical punishment and in our day to cut off
a man's livelihood if he showed any rebellion. In a larger social
way War is crude brute force, and those who delude themselves that
the God of victory is a righteous God have read history with a befoozled
mind. Force, though the world rests on it, is a terrible weapon
and engenders brutality in him who uses it and rebellion, hate and
humiliation in him upon whom it is used. It is an insult to the
dignity and worth of the human being. It must be used for disciplining
purposes only,--on children, on the criminal, and then more to restrain
than to punish. It cannot disappear from the world, but it should
be minimized. Only the sentimentalized believe it can disappear
entirely, only the brutal rejoice in its use. Force is a crude way
of asserting and obtaining superiority; the gentle hate to use it,
for it arouses their sympathy for their opponent. Whoever preaches
force as the first weapon in any struggle is either deluded as to
its value or an enemy of mankind.
As a non-inhibited response, force and brutality appear in the mentally
sick. General paresis, cerebral arterio-selerosis, alcoholic psychoses
present classical examples of the impatient brutal reaction, often
in men hitherto patient and gentle.
2. Strategy or cunning appears as a second great method of obtaining
the fulfillment of one's purposes. We all use strategy in the face
of superior or equal power, just as we tend to use force confronted
by inferiority. There is of course a legitimate use of cunning,
but there is also an anti-social trend to it, quite evident in those
who by nature or training are schemers. The strategist in love,
war or business simulates what he does not feel, is not frank or
sincere in his statements and believes firmly that the end justifies
the means. He uses the indirect force of the lie, the slander, insinuation
--he has no aversion to flattery and bribery--he uses spies and
false witnesses. He is a specialist in the unexpected and seeks
to lull suspicion and disarms watchfulness, waiting for the moment
to strike. Sometimes he weaves so tangled a web that he falls into
it himself, and one of the stock situations in humor, the novel
and the stage is where the cunning schemer falls into the pit he
has dug for others. In his highest aspect he is the diplomat; in
his lowest he is the sneak. People who are weak or cowardly tend
to the use of these methods, but also there is a group of the strong
who hate direct force and rather like the subtler weapons.
The strategist tends to be quite cynical, and his effect on his
fellow men is to increase cynicism and pessimism. They who have
suffered through the schemer grow to suspect their fellows under
any guise. They become suspicious and hard, determined never to
trust any one again. Indeed, practical wisdom to a large extent
is the wisdom of strategy and is full of mottoes and proverbs inculcating
non-generous ideals. When people have been "fooled" or
misled, the most valuable of the social cementing qualities, faith
in one's fellows, is weakened. Despite the disintegrating effect
of unscrupulous shrewdness, it is common enough to hear men say
of a successful votary of the art, "Well, I give him credit.
He is a very clever fellow, and he has brought home the bacon."
Success is so highly prized and admired that the means of obtaining
it becomes secondary in the eyes of the majority.
3. The role of speech in the relationships of human beings is of
course too great to be over-estimated. Speech becomes the prime
weapon in swaying and molding the opinions and acts of others. It
is the medium of the threat of force and the stratagem of cunning,
but also it enters human life as the medium of persuasion and conviction.
The speech ability, the capacity to use words in attaining purpose,
shows as striking variations as any other capacity.
Though a function of intelligence, the power to speak (and write)
convincingly and easily, is not at all related to other phases of
intelligence. Though it can be cultivated, good verbalism is an
innate ability, and a most valuable one. The power to speak clearly
so as to express what is on one's own mind is uncommon, as any one
can testify who has watched people struggling to express themselves.
"You know" is a very frequent phrase in the conversation
of the average man, and he means that, "My words are inadequate,
but you know what I mean." The delight in the good writer or
speaker is that he relieves other people's dissatisfaction in their
own inadequate expression by saying what they yearn to say for themselves,
thus giving them a vicarious achievement.
But the power of clear expression is not at all the power of persuasion,
although it may be a part of it. One may clearly express himself
and antagonize others. The persuader seeks to discover the obstacles
to agreement with him in the minds of others and to remove or nullify
them. He may seek to do this by a clear exposition of his wishes
and desires, by showing how these will benefit the others (or at
least not harm them), by meeting logically or otherwise the objections
and demonstrating their futility. This he will attempt, if he is
wise and practical, only in a limited group or among those who are
keen-minded and open to reason. Even with them he will have to kindle
and maintain their interest, and he must arouse a favorable emotional
state.
This latter is the principal goal in persuasion. Every good speaker
or writer who seeks to reach the mass of people needs the effect
of the great feelings--of patriotism, sympathy and humor--needs
flattery, gross or subtle, makes people laugh or smile or feel kindly
disposed to him before he attempts to get their cooperation. He
must place himself on their level, be regarded as one of them; fellowship
and the cooperative tendencies must be awakened before logic will
have value.
The persuader cuts his cloth to suit his case. He is a psychologist
of the intuitive type. He may thunder and scold if he finds in his
audience, whether numbering one or a million, a tendency to yield
to authority, and he then poses as that authority, handing out his
dicta in an awe-inspiring fashion. He will awaken the latent trend
to ridicule and scoffing by pointing out inconsistency in others,
or he may awaken admiration for his fairness and justice by lauding
his opponent, taking care not to overdo it.
Persuasion is often a part of scheming, rarely is it used by the
forceful, except in the authoritative way or to arouse anger against
the opponent. It is the weapon of those who believe in democracy,
for all exposition has persuasion as its motive. A statement must
not only be true to others,--to the mass. Therefore persuasion as
applied to the great mass of people is rarely closely knit or a
fine exposition of truth and historical evolution; that one must
leave for the highbrow book or treatise. It is passionate and pleading;
it thunders and storms; it has wit and humor; it deals with symbols
and analogies, it plays on the words of truth, justice, ideals,
patriotism. It may be honest and truthful, but it cannot be really
accurate or of high intellectual value.
And the persuasion that seeks private ends from private audiences
"sizes" up its audience as a preliminary. The capacity
to understand others and to sway them, to impress them according
to their make-up, is a trait of great importance for success or
failure. It needs cultivation, but often it depends on a native
sociability, a friendliness and genuine interest, on a "good
nature" that is what it literally purports to be,--good nature.
Though many of the persuasive kind are insincere and selfish, I
believe that on the whole the taciturn and gruff are less interested
in their fellows than the talkative and cordial.
The persuasive person has a touch of the fighting spirit in the
trait called aggressiveness. He is rarely shy or retiring. To do
well, he must be prepared for rebuffs, and he is possessed of a
species of courage and resistance against refusal and humiliation.
In the highest form the persuader is a teacher and propagandist,
changing the policy of peoples; in the commonest form he is a salesman,
seeking to sell a commodity; in the lowest he is the faker, trying
to hoodwink the credulous.
4. The strong, the crafty, the talkers each seek fulfillment of
purpose from an equal or higher level than their fellows. But power
and fulfillment may be reached at from a lower level, from the beggar's
position, from the place of weakness. There are some whose existence
depends upon the response given to their supplications, who throw
themselves directly on the charity and tender-heartedness of society.
Inefficient, incapable of separate existence, this parasitic class
is known to every social service group, to every rich or powerful
man who helps at least in part to maintain them. I do not mean those
who are physically or intellectually unable to cope with the world;
these are merely unfortunate. I mean those whose energy and confidence
is so low, or whose lack of pride is such that they are willing
to ask for help continually rather than make their own way.
There is, however, a very interesting type of person who uses weakness
as a weapon to gain a purpose, not support. The tears of many women
have long been recognized as potent in that warfare that goes on
between the sexes; the melting of opposition to the whim or wish
when this manifestation of weakness is used is an old story. The
emotional display renders the man uncomfortable, it disturbs him,
he fears to increase it lest the opponent become sick, his conscience
reproaches him, and he yields rather than "make a fuss."
Tears can be replaced by symptoms of a hysteric nature. I do not
mean that these symptoms are caused by the effort to win, but they
become useful and are made habitual. Nor is this found only in woman;
after an accident there are men in plenty whose symptoms play a
role in securing compensation for themselves, not necessarily as
malingerers. It is in human nature to desire the sympathy of others,
and in some cases this sympathy is sought because through sympathy
some other good will be ......
Continua
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