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movements of the
child, and there is in that delight the approval that society always
gives or tends to give to manifestations of power. We tend involuntarily
to admire strength, even though misdirected. The strong man always has
followers though he be a villain, and in fact the history of man is
to a large extent based on the fact that the strong man evokes enthusiasm
and obedience.
This impulse to activity is an unrest, and its satisfaction lies in
movement; in other words there is a pleasure or a relief in mere activity.
The need of discharging energy, the desire to do so, the pleasure and
satisfaction in so doing constitute a cornerstone of the foundation
of life and character. This desire for activity, as we shall call it
henceforth, is behind work and play; it fluctuates with health and disease,
with youth and old age; it becomes harnessed to purpose, it is called
into being by motives or inhibited by conflict and indecision and its
organization is the task of society. Men differ in regard to the desire
for activity, with a range from the inert whose energy is low to the
dynamic types that are ever busy and ever seeking more to do.
The child's first movements are aimless, but soon the impressions it
receives by striking hands and feet against soft and hard things bring
about a dim knowledge of the boundaries of itself, and the kinesthetic
impulses from joints and muscles help this knowledge. The outside world
commences to separate itself from the "me," though both are
vague and shadowy. Soon it learns that one part of the outside world
is able to satisfy its hunger, to supply a need, and it commences to
recognize the existence of benevolent outside agencies; and it also
learns little by little that its instinctive cries bring these agencies
to it. I do not mean that the baby has any internal language corresponding
to the idea of outside agency, benevolence, etc., but it gets to know
that its cries are potent, that a breast brings relief and satisfaction.
At first it cries, the breast comes, there is relief and satisfaction,
and it makes no connection or no connection is made between these events
of outer and inner origin. But the connection is finally made,--desire
becomes definitely articulate in the cry of the baby, which thus becomes
a plea and a summons. Anticipation of good to come appears and with
it the germ of hope and forward looking, and there is realization or
disappointment, joy or anger or sorrow. Thus desire is linked up with
satisfaction in a definite way, ideas and feelings of demand and supply
begin to appear and perhaps power itself, in the vague notion, "I
can get milk," commences to be felt. Social life starts when the
child associates the mother with the milk, with the desire and the satisfaction.
In the relationship established between mother and baby is the first
great social contact; love, friendship, discipline, teaching and belief
have their origin when, at the mother's breast, the child separates
its mother from the rest of the things of the world. And not only in
the relief of hunger is the mother active, but she gets to be associated
with the relief from wet and irritating clothes, the pleasant bath,
and the pleasure of the change of position that babies cry for. Her
bosom and her arms become sources of pleasure, and the race has immortalized
them as symbolic of motherhood, in song, in story and in myth.
Not only does he associate the mother with the milk but her very presence
brings him comfort, even when he is not hungry. It is within the first
few months of life that the child shows that he is a gregarious[1] animal,--gregarious
in the sense that he is unhappy away from others. To be alone is thus
felt to be essentially an evil, to be with others is in itself a good.
This gregarious feeling is the sine qua non of social life: when we
punish any one we draw away from him; when we reward we get closer to
him. All his life the child is to find pleasure in being with people
and unhappiness when away from them, unless he be one of those in whom
the gregarious instinct is lacking. For instincts may be absent, just
as eye pigment is; there are mental albinos, lacking the color of ordinary
human feeling. Or else some experience may make others hateful to him,
or he may have so intellectualized his life that this instinct has atrophied.
This gregarious feeling will heighten his emotions, he will gather strength
from the feeling that "others are with him," he will join
societies, clubs, organizations in response to the same feeling that
makes sheep graze on a hillside in a group, that makes the monkeys in
a cage squat together, rubbing sides and elbows. The home in which our
child finds himself, though a social institution, is not gregarious;
it gives him only a limited contact, and as soon as he is able and self-reliant
he seeks out a little herd, and on the streets, in the schoolroom and
playground, he really becomes a happy little herd animal.
[1] One of my children would stop crying if some one
merely entered his room when he was three weeks old. He was, and is,
an intensely gregarious boy.
Let us turn back
to the desire for activity. As the power to direct the eyes develops,
as hands become a little more sure, because certain pathways in brain
and cord "myelinize,"[1] become functional, the outside world
attracts in a definite manner and movements become organized by desires,
by purpose. It's a red-letter day in the calendar of a human being when
he first successfully "reaches" something; then and there
is the birth of power and of successful effort. All our ideas of cause
and effect originate when we cause changes in the world, when we move
a thing from thither to yon. No philosopher, though he becomes so intellectualized
that he cannot understand how one thing or event causes another, ever
escapes from the feeling that HE causes effects. Purpose, resistance,
success, failure, cause, effect, these become inextricably wound up
with our thoughts and beliefs from the early days when, looking at a
dangling string, we reached for it once, twice, a dozen times and brought
it in triumph to our mouth. And our idea that there were forbidden things
came when the watchful mother took it out of our mouth, saying, "No,
no, baby mustn't!"
[1] At birth, though most of the great nervous pathways
are laid down, they are non-functional largely because the fibers that
compose them are unclothed, non-myelinated. The various kinds of tracts
have different times for becoming "myelinated" as was the
discovery of the great analogist, Flechsig.
At any rate, the
organization of activity for definite purposes starts. The little investigator
is apparently obsessed with the idea that everything it can reach, including
its fingers and toes, are good to eat, for everything reached is at
once brought to the mouth, the primitive curiosity thus being gustatory.
In this research the baby finds that some few things are pleasant, many
indifferent and quite a few disgusting and even painful, which may remain
as a result not far different from that obtained by investigation in
later years. The desire for pleasant things commences to guide its activities.
Every new thing is at once an object for investigation, perhaps because
its possibilities for pleasure are unknown. That curiosity may have
some such origin is at least a plausible statement. At any rate, desire
of a definite type steps in to organize the mere desire for activity;
and impulse is controlled by purpose.
The child learns to creep, and the delight in progression lies in the
fact that far more things are accessible for investigation, for rearrangement,
for tasting. It is no accident that we speak of our "tastes"
that we say, "I want to taste of experience." That is exactly
what the child creeping on the floor seeks,--to taste of experience
and to anticipate, to realize, to learn. Out of the desire for activity
grows a desire for experience born of the pleasure of excitement that
we spoke of previously. This desire for experience becomes built up
into strange forms under teaching and through the results of experience.
It is very strong in some who become explorers, roues, vagabonds, scientists
as a result, and it is very weak in others who stay at home and seek
only the safe and limited experience. You see two children in one room,--and
one sits in the middle of the floor, perhaps playing with a toy or looking
around, and the other has investigated the stove and found it hotter
than he supposed, has been under the table and bumped his head, has
found an unusually sweet white lump which in later life he will call
sugar. The good child is often without sufficient curiosity to be bad,
whereas the bad child may be an overzealous seeker of experience.
So our child reaching out for things develops ideas of cause, effect
and power, commences to have an idea of himself as a cause and likes
the feeling of power. As he learns to walk, the world widens, his sense
of power grows, and his feeling of personality increases. Meanwhile
another side of his nature has been developing and one fully as important.
The persons in his world have become quite individual; mother is now
not alone, for father is recognized with pleasure as one who likewise
is desirable. He carries one on his shoulder so that a pleasurable excitement
results; he plays with one, holds out strings and toys and other instruments
for the obtaining of experience. Usually both of these great personages
are friendly, their faces wear a smile or a tender look, and our little
one is so organized that smiles and tender looks awaken comfortable
feelings and he smiles in return. The smile is perhaps the first great
message one human being sends to another; it says, "See, I am friendly,
I wish you well." Later on in the history of the child, he will
learn much about smiles of other kinds, but at this stage they are all
pleasant. Though his parents are usually friendly and give, now and
then they deprive, and they look different; they say, "No, no!"
This "no, no" is social inhibition, it is backed up by the
power of deprivation, punishment, disapproval; it has its power in a
something in our nature that gives society its power over us. From now
there steps in a factor in the development of character of which we
have already spoken, a group of desires that have their source in the
emotional response of the child to the parent, in the emotional response
of an individual to his group. Out of the social pressure arises the
desire to please, to win approval, to get justification, and these struggle
in the mind of the child with other desires.
We said the child seeks experience,--but not only on his own initiative.
The father stands against the wall, perhaps with one foot crossing the
other. Soon he feels a pressure and looks down; there is the little
one standing in his imitation of the same position. Imitation, in my
belief, is secondary to a desire for experience. The child does not
imitate everything; he is equipped to notice only simple things, and
these he imitates. Why? The desire to experience what others are experiencing
is a basic desire; it expresses both a feeling of fellowship and a competitive
feeling. We do not feel a strong tendency to imitate those we dislike
or despise, or do not respect, we tend to imitate those we love and
respect, those for whom we have a fellow feeling. Part of the fellow
feeling is an impulse to imitate and to receive in a positive way the
suggestion offered by their conduct and manners.
Analogous to imitation, and part of the social instinct, is a credulity,
a willingness to accept as if personally experienced things stated.
Part of the seeking of experience is the asking of questions, because
the mind seeks a cause for every effect, a something to work from. Indeed,
one of the main mental activities lies in the explaining of things;
an unrest is felt in the presence of the "not understood"
which is not stilled until the unknown is referred back to a thing understood
or accepted without question. The child finds himself in a world with
laid-down beliefs and with explanations of one kind or another for everything.
His group differs from other groups in its explanations and beliefs;
his family even may be peculiar in these matters. He asks, he is answered
and enjoined to believe. Without credulity there could be no organization
of society, no rituals, no ceremonials, no religions and customs,--but
without the questioning spirit there could be no progress. Most of the
men and women of this world have much credulity and only a feeble questioning
tendency, but there are a few who from the start subject the answers
given them to a rigid scrutiny and who test belief by results. Let any
one read the beliefs of savages, let him study the beliefs of the civilized
in the spirit in which he would test the statement of the performance
of an automobile, and he can but marvel at man's credulity. Belief and
the acceptance of authority are the conservative forces of society,
and they have their origin in the nursery when the child asks, "Why
does the moon get smaller?" and the mother answers, "Because,
dear, God cuts a piece off every day to make the stars with." The
authorities, recognizing that their power lay in unquestioning belief,
have always sanctified it and made the pious, non-skeptical type the
ideal and punished the non-believer with death or ostracism. Fortunately
for the race, the skeptic, if silenced, modifies the strength of the
belief he attacks and in the course of time even they who have defended
begin to shift from it and it becomes refuted. Beliefs, as Lecky[1]
so well pointed out, are not so of ten destroyed as become obsolete.
[1] Lecky: "History of European Morals."
As he points out, the belief in witchcraft never was disproved, it simply
died because science made it impossible to believe that witches could
disorganize natural laws.
It may seem as if
imitation were a separate principle in mental growth, and there have
been many to state this. As is well known Tarde made it a leading factor
in human development. It seems to me that it is linked up with desire
for experience, desire for fellowship, and also with a strongly competitive
feeling, which is early manifest in children and which may be called
"a want of what the other fellow has." Children at the age
of a year and up may be perfectly pleased with what they have until
they see another child playing with something,--something perhaps identical
with their own. They then betray a decided, uncontrollable desire for
the other child's toy; they are no longer content with their own, and
by one means or another they seek to get it,--by forcible means, by
wheedling or coaxing, or by tormenting their parents. The disappearance
of contentment through the competitive feeling, the competitive nature
of desire, the role that envy plays in the happiness and effort of man,
is a thesis emphasized by every moralist and philosopher since the beginning
of things. In the strivings of every man, though he admit it or not,
one of the secret springs of his energy is this law of desire, that
a large part of its power and persistence is in the competitive feeling,
is in envy and the wish to taste what others are experiencing.
A basic law of desire lies in an observation of Lotze, elaborated by
William James. We may talk of selfishness and altruism as if they were
entirely separate qualities of human nature. But what seems to be true
is that one is an extension of the other, that is, we are always concerned
with the ego feeling, but in the one case the ego feeling is narrow
and in the other case it includes others as part of the ego. Lotze's
observations on clothes shows that we expend ego feeling in all directions,
that we tend to be as tall as our top hats and as penetrating as our
walking sticks, that the man who has a club in his hand has a tactile
sense to the very end of the club. James in his marvelous chapter on
the various selves points out that a man's interests and affections
are his selves, and that they enclose one another like the petals of
a rose. We may speak of unipetalar selves, who include only their own
bodies in self-feeling; of bipetalar selves who include in it their
families, and from there on we go to selves who include their work,
their community, their nation, until we reach those very rare souls
whose petals cover all living things. So men extend their self-feeling,
if ambitious, to their work, to their achievements,--if paternal to
their children; if domestic, to wife and home; if patriotic to the nation,
etc. Development lies in the extension of the self-feeling and in the
increase of its intensity. But the obstacle lies in the competitive
feelings, in that dualism of man's nature that makes him yearn not only
for fellowship, but also for superiority. These desires are in eternal
opposition, but are not necessarily antagonistic, any more than are
the thumb and the little finger as they meet in some task, any more
than are excitation and inhibition. Every function in our lives has
its check and balance, and fellowship, yearning and superiority urge
one another.
From the cradle to the grave, we desire fellowship as an addition to
our gregarious feeling. We ask for approval, for we expand under sympathy
and contract under cold criticism. Nothing is so pleasant as "appreciation,"
which means taking us at our own valuation or adding to it,, and there
is no complaint so common as, "They don't understand me,"
which merely means, "They blame me without understanding that I
really seek the good, that I am really good, though perhaps I seem not
to be." The child who hurts its thumb runs to its mother for sympathy,
and the pain is compensated for, at least in part, by that sympathy.
Throughout life we desire sympathy for our hurts, except where that
sympathy brings with it a feeling of inferiority. To be helped by others
in one way or another is the practical result of this aspect of fellowship.
(There is a convincing physical element in the feelings and desires
of man, evidenced in language and phrase. Superiority equals aboveness,
inferiority equals beneathness; sympathy equals the same feeling. To
criticize is to "belittle" and to cause the feeling of littleness;
to praise is "to make a man expand," to enlarge him. Blame
hurts one's feelings,--"He wounded me," etc.)
At the same time we are strangely affected by the condition of others.
Where no competitive-jealousy complex is at work, we laugh with other
people in their happiness, we are moved to tears by suffering; we admire
vigor, beauty and the fine qualities of others; we accept their purposes
and beliefs; we are glad to agree with the stranger or the friend and
hate to disagree. We establish within ourselves codes and standards
largely because we wish to accept and believe and act in the same way
as do those we want as fellows. Having set up that code as conscience
or ideals, it helps us to govern our lives, it gives a stability in
that we tend at once to resist jealousy, envy, the "wrong"
emotions and actions. "Helping others" becomes a great motive
in life, responding to misery with tears, consolation and kindness,
reacting to the good deeds of others with praise. To be generous and
charitable becomes method for the extension of fellowship.
Asking for help in its varied form of praise, appreciation and kindness,
giving help as appreciation and kindness, are the weak and strong aspects
of the fellowship feelings. It is a cynical view of life, perhaps, but
it is probably true that the weak phase is more common and more constant
than the second. Almost everybody loves praise and appreciation, for
these enlarge the ego feeling, and some, perhaps most, like to be helped,
though here, as was above stated, there is a feeling of inferiority
aroused which may be painful. Relatively there are few who are ready
to praise, especially those with whom they are in close contact and
with whom they are in a sort of rivalry. The same is true of genuine
appreciation, of real warm fellow feeling; the leader, the hero, the
great man receives that but not the fellow next door. As for giving,
charity, kindness, these are common enough in a sporadic fashion, but
rarely are they sustained and constant, and often they have to depend
on the desire "not to be outdone," not to seem inferior,--have,
as it were, to be shamed into activity. For there is competition even
in fellowship.
There are people, especially among the hysterics, who are deeply wounded
when sympathy is not given, when appreciation and praise is withheld
or if there is the suggestion of criticism. They are people of a "tender
ego," not self-sustaining, demanding the help of others and reacting
to the injury sustained, when it is not given, by prolonged emotion.
These sensitive folk, who form a most difficult group, do not all react
alike, of course. Some respond with anger and ideas of persecution,
some with a prolonged humiliation and feeling of inferiority; still
others develop symptoms that are meant to appeal to the conscience of
the one who has wounded them. On the other hand, there are those whose
feeling of self sustains them in the face of most criticism, who depend
largely upon the established mentor within themselves and who seek to
conform to the rulings of that inward mentor. Such people, if not martyred
too soon, and if possessed of a fruitful ideal, lay new criteria for
praise and blame.
Contrasting with the desires and purposes of fellowship we find the
desires and purposes of superiority and power. Primarily these are based
on what McDougall calls the instinct of self-display, which becomes
intellectualized and socialized very early in the career of the child.
In fact, we might judge a man largely by the way he displays himself,
whether by some essentially personal bodily character, some essentially
mental attribute or some essentially moral quantity; whether he seeks
superiority as a means of getting power or as a means of doing good;
whether he seeks it within or without the code. One might go on indefinitely,
including such matters as whether he seeks superiority with tact or
the reverse and whether he understands the essential shallowness and
futility of his pursuit or not. To be superior is back of most of striving,
and it is the most camouflaged of all human motives and pleasures. For
this is true: that the preaching of humility, of righteous conduct,
of service, of self-sacrifice, by religion and ethics have convinced
man that these are the qualities one ought to have. So men seek, whenever
they can, to dress their other motives and feelings in the garb of altruism.
Camouflage of motive as a means of social approval has thus become a
very important part of character; we seek constantly to penetrate the
camouflage of our rivals and enemies and bitterly resist any effort
to strip away our own, often enough hiding it successfully from ourselves.
There are few who face boldly their own egoism, and their sincerity
is often admired. Indeed, the frank child is admired because his egoism
is refreshing, i. e., he offers no problem to the observer. Out of the
uneasiness that we feel in the presence of dissimulation and insincerity
has arisen the value we place on sincerity, frankness and honesty. To
be accused of insincerity or dishonesty of motive and act is fiercely
resented.
The desire for power and superiority will of course take different directions
in each person, according to his make-up, teaching and the other circumstances
of his life. Property as a means of pleasure, and as a symbol of achievement
and of personal worth, is valued highly from the earliest days of the
child's life. Very early does the child show that it prizes goods, shows
an acquisitive trend that becomes finally glorified into a goal, an
ambition. Money and goods become the symbol and actuality of power,
triumph, superiority, pleasure, safety, benevolence and a dozen and
one other things. Men who seek money and goods may therefore be seeking
very different things; one is merely acquisitive, has the miser trend;
another loves the game for the game's sake, picks up houses, bonds,
money, ships, as a fighter picks up trophies, and they stand to him
as symbols of his superiority. Some see in property the fulcrum by which
they can apply the power that will shift the lives of other men and
make of themselves a sort of God or Fate in the destinies of others.
For others, and for all in part, there is in money the safety against
emergencies and further a something that purchases pleasure, whether
that pleasure be of body, or taste or spirit. Wine and women, pictures
and beautiful things, leisure for research and contemplation,--money
buys any and all of these, and as the symbol of all kinds of value,
as the symbol of all kinds of power, it is sought assiduously by all
kinds of men.
There are many who start on their careers with the feeling and belief
that money is a minor value, that to be useful and of service is greater
than to be rich. But this idealistic ambition in only a few cases stands
up against the strain of life. Unless money comes, a man cannot marry,
or if he marries, then his wife must do without ease and leisure and
pretty things, and he must live in a second-rate way. Sooner or later
the idealist feels himself uneasily inferior, and though he may compensate
by achievement or by developing a strong trend towards seclusiveness,
more often he regrets bitterly his idealism and in his heart envies
the rich. For they, ignorant and arrogant, may purchase his services,
his brains and self-sacrifice and buy these ingredients of himself with
the air of one purchasing a machine. So the idealist finds himself condemned
to a meager life, unless his idealism brings him wealth, and he drifts
in spirit away from the character of his youth. It is the strain of
life, the fear of old age and sickness, the silent pressure of the deprivations
of a man's beloved ones, the feeling of helplessness in disaster and
the silent envious feeling of inferiority that makes inroads in the
ranks of the idealists so that at twenty there are ten idealists to
the one found at forty.
I remember well one of my colleagues, working patiently in a laboratory,
out of sight of the world and out of the stream of financial reward,
enthused by science and service, who threw up his work and went into
the practice of medicine. "Why?" I asked him. "Because
when one of my brothers took sick and was in dire need, I who loved
him could not help. I had no money, and all my monographs put together
could not help him buy a meal. There is a cousin of ours, who has grown
rich running a cheap moving-picture house, where the taste of the community
is debauched every day. He lent my brother two thousand dollars out
of his superfluities; it involved no sacrifice to him, for he purchased
a third car at the same time--and yet HE is our savior. Love alone is
a torture. I am going to get money."
The world is built up on the sacrifices of the idealists, and eternally
it crucifies them. Wealth and power are to him who has a marketable
commodity, and one cannot complain when true genius becomes rich. But
the genius to make money may be and often is--an exploiting type of
ability, a selfishly practical industry, which neither invents nor is
of great service. The men who now do the basic work in invention and
scientific work in laboratories are poorly paid and only now and then
honored. Every year in the United States hundreds of them leave their
work in research and seek "paying jobs," to the impoverishment
of the world, but to their own financial benefit. Countries where the
scramble for wealth is not so keen, where the best brains do not find
themselves pressed into business, produce far more science, art and
literature than we do, with all our wealth. We will continue to be a
second-rate nation in these regards, still looking for our great American
novel and play, still seeking real singers and artists, until our idealism
can withstand the pressure of our practical civilization.
For here is a great division in people. There are those who become enthused
by the noble aims of life, by the superiority and service that come
in the work of teacher, priest, physician, scientist, philosopher and
philanthropist, and those that seek superiority and power in wealth,
station and influence. Those who, will fellowship and those who will
power is a short way of putting it, the idealists and the practical
is another. Fellowship is built up on sympathy, pity, friendliness and
the desire to help others; it is essentially democratic, and in it runs
the cooperative activities of man. For it is not true that "competition
is the life of trade"; cooperation is its life. Men dig ore in
mines, others transport their produce, others smelt it and work it into
shape, according to the designs and plans of still other men; then it
is transported by new groups and marketed by an endless chain of men
whose labors dovetail to the end that mankind has a tool, a habitation
or an ornament. The past and present cooperate in this labor, as do
the remote ends of the earth. Competition is the SPUR of trade; its
mighty sinews, its strong heart and stout lungs are cooperative.
Power is aristocratic, and elaborates and calls into play competitive
spirit. In all men the desire for power and the desire for fellowship
blend and interplay in their ambitions and activities; in some fellowship
predominates, in others power. If a man specializes in fellowship aims,
without learning the secret of power, he is usually futile and sterile
of results; if a man seeks power only and disregards fellowship, is
hated and is a tyrant, cruel and without pity. To be an idealist and
practical is of course difficult and usually involves a compromise of
the ideal. Some degree of compromise is necessary, and the rigid idealist
would have a better sanction for his refusal to compromise if he or
any one could be sure of the perfection of his ideal.
The practical seek their own welfare or the welfare of others through
direct means, through exerting the power and the influence that is money
and station. Rarely do they build for a distant future, and their goal
is in some easily and popularly understood good. What they say and what
they do applies to getting rich or healthy, to being good in a conventional
way; success is their goal and that success lies in the tangibles of
life. They easily become sordid and mean, since it is not possible always
to separate good and evil when one is governed by expediency and limited
idea of welfare. This is also true,--that while the practical usually
tend to lose idealism entirely, and find themselves the tools of habits
and customs they cannot break from, now and then a practical man reaches
a high place of power and becomes the idealist.
Though all men seek power and fellowship, we have a right to ask what
are a man's leading pursuits. And we must be prepared to tear off a
mask before we understand the most of our fellows, for society and all
of life is permeated with disguise. Now and then one seeks to appear
worse than he is, hates fuss and praise, but this rare bird (to use
slang and Latin in one phrase) is the exception that proves the rule
that men on the whole try to appear better than they are. Rarely does
a man say, "I am after profit and nothing else," although
occasionally he does; rarely does the scientist say, "I seek fame
and reward," even though his main stimulus may be this desire and
not the ideal of adding to the knowledge of the world. Behind the philanthropist
may lurk the pleasure in changing the lives of others, behind the reformer
the picture of himself in history. The best of men may and do cherish
power motives, and we must say that to seek power is ethically good,
provided it does not injure fellowship. One must not, however, be misled
by words; duty, service, fellowship come as often to the lips of the
selfish as the unselfish.
We spoke of power as a form of superiority. Since all superiority is
comparative, there are various indirect ways of seeking superiority
and avoiding inferiority. One of these is by adverse criticism of our
fellows. The widespread love of gossip, the quick and ever-present tendency
to disparage others, especially the fortunate and the successful, are
manifestations of this type of superiority seeking. Half the humor of
the world is the pleasure, produced by a technique, of feeling superior
to the boor, the pedant, the fool, the new rich, the pompous, the over-dignified,
etc. Half, more than half, of the conversation that goes on in boudoir,
dining room, over the drinks and in the smoking room, is criticism,
playful and otherwise, of others. There are people in whom the adversely
critical spirit is so highly developed that they find it hard to praise
any one or to hear any one praised--their criticism leaps to the surface
in one way or another, in the sneer, in the "butt," in the
joke, in the gibe, in the openly expressed attack. This way of being
superior may be direct and open, more often it is disguised. Many a
woman (and man) who denounces the sinner receives from her contemplation
of that sinner the most of her feeling of virtue and goodness. The more
bitterly the self-acknowledged "saint" denounces the sinner,
the more, by implication, he praises himself.
People seek the strangest roads to the feeling of superiority. From
that classical imbecile who burnt down the Temple of Diana to the crop
of young girls who invent tales of white slavery in order to stand in
the public eye as conspicuous victims, notoriety has been mistaken for
fame by those desperate for public attention. To be superior some way,
even if only in crime and foolishness, brings about an immense amount
of laughable and deplorable conduct to which only a Juvenal could do
justice. The world yields to superiority such immense tribute that to
obtain recognition as superior becomes a dominant motive. How that superiority
is to be reached presents great difficulties, and the problem is solved
according to the character of the individual.
At the same time that we seek superiority we seek to be liked, to be
esteemed, to be respected. These are not the same things, but are sufficiently
alike in principle to be classed together. With some the desire to be
liked becomes a motive that ruins firmness of purpose and success, as
in the well-known "good fellow,"--accommodating, obliging
and friendly, who sacrifices achievement to this minor form of fellowship.
On a larger plane there is the writer or artist who sacrifices his best
capacities in order to please the popular fancy, seeks popularity rather
than greatness, for it is seldom that the two coincide. Back of many
a man's "respectability" is the fear of being disliked or
discredited by his group. TO BE RESPECTABLE, TO LIVE SO THAT NEITHER
THE NEIGHBORS NOR ONE'S OWN RATHER UNCRITICAL CONSCIENCE CAN CRITICIZE,
IS PERHAPS THE MOST COMMON AIM IN LIFE. There are some who are all things
to all men, merely out of the desire to be agreeable, who find it easy
to agree with any opinion, because they have not the courage to be disliked.
Even the greatest men yield to the desire to be admired and liked, though
the test of greatness is unpopularity.
For there never can be a real and lasting democ-racy in belief, opinion
and ideal. The mass must always lag behind the leaders, since it takes
a generation or two for the ideas of the old leaders to permeate any
society. Now and then a great leader finds a great following in his
own lifetime, but his leadership rarely involves a new principle. There
will always be a few ground breakers, behind them a few straggling followers,
and far, far behind, the great mass of mankind.
This digression aside, to be popular, agreeable and entertaining are
both aims and weapons. Most of us would infinitely rather be liked than
disliked, and with some it is a passion and a weakness. But to be popular,
to be a good fellow, is an extraordinarily useful trait when combined
with firm purposes and good intelligence. The art of life is to please,
though its business is achievement and success, and here the art may
further the business. Manners, courtesy and certain of the abilities,
such as musical talent, story telling and humor are cultivated largely,
though not wholly, out of the desire to please.
Manners and courtesy are really standardized methods of behavior, which
are to adjust us in a pleasing way to our superiors, equals and inferiors,
and to the various conventional situations of life. Naturally these
will vary greatly in different ages and different countries. A democracy
acknowledging in theory no superiors will insist that every man be called
"sir" and every woman "madam," whereas an aristocracy
laughs at that. In reality there is no democracy anywhere, and so we
address differently the woman of the mansion and the woman of the hovel,
The mistress of the house calls her maid by her first name but would
wonder what the world is coming to if the maid became as familiar. In
a limited sense, manners and courtesy are conventional ways of doing
things, as the way of living, the tipping of the hat, the form of greetings,
the way of eating, but these conventions have great value to the majority
of people as evidencing breeding and training or the lack (superiority
or inferiority), and also as removing doubt and choice, so that things
run smoothly and without contradiction. In a more noble sense, manners
and courtesy prescribe conduct in order to proscribe offense to the
self-valuation of others. Convention says, "Address people as if
they were your equals at least; don't contradict brusquely because that
implies their inferiority or stupidity; avoid too controversial topics
since bitterness and humiliation may thus arise; do not notice defects
or disabilities for the same reason; do not brag or be too conspicuous,
since to boast of superiority is to imply the inferiority of others,
and they will dislike you," etc. We tend to dislike and hate those
who make us feel inferior, except under those special circumstances
where sex-love, awe and admiration enter to make a certain inferiority
desirable or befitting. So a large part of manners and courtesy concern
themselves with the formulae of conduct which avoid this result to others,
and we are also enjoined to conduct ourselves so that others will not
regard us as inferior. We speak of a man as a "low person"
if he eats with his knife, and very few things so humiliate us as the
knowledge that we have behaved in an unmannerly way. One of the great
purposes, then, is to be conventional, to behave, dress and "look"
according to an accepted standard, one that is laid down for age, sex
and social station. There are people to whom convention is truly almost
holy, and true to our principle of variability, there are others who
hate convention.
Because many writers have shot shafts of satire and ridicule at convention
and custom, and because of the enormous reading public, the artificial
nature of convention has been emphasized to that large part of the community
that desires to be different merely for the sake of being different,
and there is built up a conventional unconventionality. It has become
the mark of the artist, the great in spirit, to be unconventional (at
least in novels), and so there are a hundred "unconventional"
poseurs to one genuinely free in spirit. Anything that becomes a dogma
or a cult is not unconventional, for it is the standard or the custom
of a group. Most Bohemians, so-called, are poseurs and conventionalized
to their marrow. And most of the really unconventional are "freaks,"
"odd sticks" whose grotesque individualities cannot conform.
But in the mass of the unconventional one finds here and there, like
nuggets of gold in sand, the true reformers of the world.
The "poseurs" in custom have their analogies in the pompous,
over-dignified and over-important; the affected, in a word. Affectation
is felt to be a disharmony between the pose and the inner values or
an attempt to win superiority or "difference" of a superior
kind by acting. In either case it excites ridicule, hatred or disgust,
and shafts at it form part of the stock in trade of the satirist, humorist
and indeed every portrayer of life. What men demand of each other is
sincerity, and even where the insincerity is merely a habitual pose
it arouses hostile feeling which expresses itself all the way from criticism
to the overt act.
Since to feel superior is so highly prized in social relationships of
all kinds, part of the technique of those seeking some advantage or
other--economic, social, personal--from those who must be influenced
is to give them the feeling of superiority. Flattery, cajolement, humble
supplication and the finer maneuvers of tact, all have this in mind.
These however are palatable to the intelligent only when felt to be
sincere and when emanating from some one more or less esteemed, though
there are plenty who "fall" for the grossest flattery from
almost any one, whose ego feeling is easily inflated with a corresponding
shrinking in judgment and common sense. In the relations of men and
women, flattery in one shape or another plays an enormous role --from
the effect on women of the statement or implication in a subtle or gross
way that they are charming, and the effect on men of acknowledged superiority
in strength courage or intelligence. Of course, in both cases the effect
is partly in the physical attractiveness of the flatterer and tends
to become ridiculous when he or she is without charm. The simpering
language that is irresistible when uttered by a starry-eyed maid of
eighteen loses somewhat in beauty and effect when emanating from the
lips of bespectacled forty. The power to use and the power to resist
flattery in any of its forms have played almost as great a role in the
history of the race as strength, beauty or intelligence.
It would be futile to elaborate in detail the various ways of seeking
superiority or resisting inferiority. Two directions of this impulse
need some attention, as they lead to personality traits of great importance.
"Having one's way" becomes a dominant desire with many people,
and much of the clashing that occurs in families, organizations and
the council chambers of nations arises from a childish, egoistic seeking
of superiority. People enter into the most heated and sterile arguments,
often coming to blows, if the course of conduct they desire to have
followed is modified or blocked. Even when secretly convinced that they
are wrong, husbands and wives will continue to insist on victory, for
too often the domestic relationship is a struggle for leadership and
dominance rather than a partnership and a conference. Two heads are
better than one when the intelligence within the heads is of good grade
and when the desire for superiority does not take trivial directions.
And the effect of yielding to the whims of children is to develop an
irritable, domineering egoism bent on having its own way, resisting
reasonable compromise or correction. The greatest benefit of discipline
and above all of contact with equals to a child is in the effect on
this phase of egoism, i. e., that cooperation means compromise; to be
reasonable implies listening with respect to others' plans and to accept
better ways of doing things, even if they have originated with others;
in other ways the subordinating of trivial egoism. The large families
of other days offered the conflict of wills and its consequent lesson
within the home; to-day the solitary child, or the one whose brother
or sister is three, four or five years younger or older must go into
the streets to obtain this discipline or else go without. The indulged
have this form of inferior egoism more than do those who have been roughly
handled, and so it is more common in women of the better-to-do classes
and in men who have always exercised authority. It is of course found
in what is known as the stubborn person, --he whose will is law to himself
and who seeks to make it law to others. Ordinarily the stubborn person
is merely a nuisance, but also, if he couples that stubbornness with
intelligence and some especial ability, he may reach great heights,
though he is seldom popular.
A sub-form of having one's own way is the adherence to one's own "opinion."
The clash of opinions is in its noblest aspect the basis of knowledge;
the correction of opinion that results when man meets man is the growth
of tolerance and urbanity. Wide reading, travel and experience teach
us that our opinions can never be absolutely right, and we grow to look
upon them in a detached sort of way. In fact, the prime result of the
growth of intelligence and of experience is to make one, as it were,
objective toward oneself, to view one's own thoughts, beliefs and emotions
with some humor and skepticism. But the uncultured, the narrow, the
inexperienced, the young and the strongly egotistic never detach themselves
from their opinions, and their opinions are themselves. Attack an opinion,
contradict or amend it,--and a sort of fighting spirit is aroused. Argument
differs from discussion in that it seeks all means to win--ridicule,
sophistry, and personal attack --and it is by far the more common. There
was a time when opinion was entirely enslaved, when only the ruler might
venture on a new belief or its expression; then there came a time when
the right to freedom of opinion and its expression was conceded, and
now, with huge forces confronting one another, freedom of opinion[1]
is again threatened. But that is an issue larger than our subject.
[1] The most profound contribution to the subject
of discussion and freedom of opinion in recent years has been written
by Walter Lippman in the Atlantic Monthly, September, 1920.
You may judge a
man by his type of argument and his reaction to the opinions of others.
One should hold to his own beliefs and opinions, but only if they withstand
the assaults of reason. To build ego feeling into opinions is to make
ignorance sacred. For most of us there are certain opinions that we
will not tolerate, and there are others to which we are indifferent.
There are those who feel it incumbent on themselves to contradict any
opinion, even if they agree fundamentally with it. The mere fact that
some one else gave it utterance arouses a sort of jealousy. Then there
are others who will not permit any opinion of their own to be discussed,
to whom it is a personal affront to do this. What we call urbanity is
tolerance of other opinions; what we call reasonableness is the willingness
to change opinions if convinced. What we call vacillation is to have
no fixed opinion, to be influenced at once by the opinions of others.
The pleasure sought in argument is a victory for our opinions and thus
for ourselves.
Here Montaigne's wisdom aptly expresses itself: "We deride ourselves
a hundred times when we mock our neighbor." He is stubborn and
unreasonable who does not agree with us. "Be reasonable,"
cry the unreasonable as they argue. "How stubborn and pigheaded
you are," say those inaccessible to reason. The difficulty in reaching
a true estimate of the world, ourselves and our neighbors lies in the
egoism which permeates our beliefs and opinions.
A second direction of the impulse to superiority is personal beauty.
Not only does the young girl (or any other, male or female) dress and
adorn herself to attract those whose good opinion she seeks, but also
she seeks superiority over her competitors. Her own self-valuation increases
with the admiration of some and the discomfiture of others. To be beautiful,
attractive or pretty becomes thus a goal to many aims of the personality;
it offers a route to success in obtaining power, riches, etc.; it yields
the longed-for admiration, and it gives the satisfaction of superiority.
It rarely has in it any ideal of service or of help, though beauty in
the abstract is an ideal of high value. To desire to be beautiful physically
as a leading aim usually leads to selfishness and petty vanity. As a
subsidiary aim it balances character, but unfortunately, as we have
before seen, it is inculcated as a primary aim early in the life of
a girl. True, men seek to be beautiful in a masculine way, but the goal
of masculine beauty is strength, which is directly serviceable. This
is not to say that there are no men who are vain of their good looks,
for there are many. But only occasionally does one find a man who organizes
his life efforts to be beautiful, who establishes criteria of success
or failure on complexion, hair, features of face and lines of figure.
So long, therefore, as woman can obtain power through beauty and sex
appeal, so long may we expect a trivial trend in her character.
We have lost track of our hypothetical child in the history of his character
development, lost sight of him as he struggles in a morass of desires
and purposes of power, fellowship and superiority. His situations become
still more complex as we watch him seek to unify his life around permanent
purposes, against a pestering, surging, recurring, temporary desire.
He desires, let us say, to conform to the restriction in sex, but as
he approaches adolescence, within and without stimuli of breathless
ardor assail him. He must inhibit them if he proposes to be chaste,
and his continent road is beset with never-resting temptations. He calls
himself a fool at times for resisting, and his mind pictures the delights
he misses--if not from direct experience, from information he gathers
in books and from those who know--and if he yields, then self-reproach
embitters him. But correctly to portray the situation is to drop our
hypothetical adolescent, for here is where individual reaction and individual
situations are too varied to be met with in one case. Some do not inhibit
their sex desires at all; others resist now and then, others yield occasionally;
still others remain faithful to the ideal. Some drop the conventional
ideal and replace with unconventional substitutes, some resist at great
cost to themselves, and others find no difficulty in resisting what
is no temptation at all to them. Passion, resistance, opportunity, training
and sublimation differ as remarkably as nuns differ from prostitutes.
A similar situation is found in the work purposes. To work steadily,
with industry and unflagging effort, at something perhaps not inherently
attractive is not merely a measure of energy,--it is a measure of inhibition
and will. For there are so many more immediate pleasures to be had,
even if offering only variety and relaxation. There is the country,
there is the lake for fishing; there is the dance hall where a pretty
girl smiles as your arm encircles her waist; there is the ball field
where on a fine day you may go and forget duty and strained effort in
the swirl of an enthusiasm that emanates from the thousands around you
as they applaud the splendid athletes; there is the good fellowship
and pleasure that beckon as you bend to a task. To shut these out, to
inhibit the temporary "good" for the permanent good, is the
measure of character.
These sex and work situations we must take up in detail in separate
chapters. What is important is that as life goes on, necessity, the
social organization and gradual concentration of energy canalize the
purposes, reduce the power of the irrelevant and temporary desires.
Habit and custom bring a person into definite relationship with society;
the man becomes husband, father, worker in some definite field of industry;
ambition becomes narrowed down to the possibilities or is entirely discarded
as hopeless. The character becomes a collection of habits, with some
controlling purpose and some characteristic relaxations. This at least
is true of the majority of men. Here and there are those who have not
been able to form a unification even along such simple lines; they are
without steady habits, derelicts morally, financially and socially,
or if with means independent of personal effort they are wastrels and
idlers. And again there are the doers and thinkers of the world, the
fortunate, whose lives are associated with successful purposes, whose
ambitions grow and grow until they reach the power of which they dreamed.
There are the reformers living in a fever heat of purpose, disdaining
rest and relaxation, dangerously near fanaticism and not far from mental
unbalance, but achieving through that unbalance things the balanced
never have the will to attempt. He who works merely to get rich or powerful
or to provide food for his family cannot understand the zealots who
see the world as a place where SOMETHING MUST happen,--where slavery
MUST be abolished, women MUST have votes, children MUST go to school
until sixteen, prostitution MUST disappear, alcohol MUST be prohibited,
etc. Such people miss the pretty, pleasant relaxing joys of life, but
they gain in intensity of life what they lose in diffuseness.
This war of the permanent unified purposes versus the temporary scattering
desires--the power of inhibition --is involved in the health and vigor
of the person. Disease, fatigue and often enough old age show themselves
in lowered purpose, in the failure of the will (in the sense of the
energy of purpose), in a scattering of activity. Indeed, in the senile
states one too often sees the disappearance of moral control where one
least expected it. And one of the greatest tragedies of our times occurred
when an elderly statesman, on the brink of arterial disease of the brain,
lost the strength and firmness of purpose that hitherto had characterized
him. One of the worst features of the government of nations is the predominance
of old men in the governing bodies. For not only are they apt to have
over-intellectualized life, not only have they become specialists in
purpose and therefore narrow, but the atrophy of the passions and desires
of youth and middle life has rendered them unfit to legislate for the
bulk of the race, who are the young and middle-aged. It is no true democracy
where old age governs the rest of the periods of life.
Unification of purpose often goes too far. Men lose sight of the duties
they owe to wife and family in their pursuit of wealth or fame; they
forget that relaxation and pleasure-seeking are normal and legitimate
aims. They deify a purpose; they attach it to themselves so that it
becomes more essentially themselves than their religion or their family.
They speak of their work as if every letter were capitalized and lose
sympathy and interest in the rest of the wide striving world. Men grow
hard, even if philanthropists, in too excessive a devotion to a purpose,
and soon it is their master, and they are its slaves. Happy is he who
can follow his purpose efficiently and earnestly, but who can find interest
in many things, pleasure in the wide range of joys the world offers
and a youthful curiosity and zest in the new.
Every human being, no matter how civilized and unified, how modern and
social in his conduct, has within him a core of uncivilized, disintegrating,
ancient and egoistic desires and purposes. "I feel two natures
struggling within me" is the epitome of every man's life. This
is what has been called conflict by the psychoanalysts, and my own disagreement
with them is that I believe it to be distinctly conscious in the main.
A man knows that the pretty young girls he meets tempt him from his
allegiance to his wife and his desires to be good; a woman knows that
the prosaic husband no longer pleases, and why he does not please,--only
if you ask either of them bluntly and directly they will deny their
difficulties. The organic activities of the body, basic in desire of
all kinds, are crude and give rise to crude forbidden wishes, but the
struggle that goes on is repressed, rebelled against and gives rise
to trains of secondary symptoms,--fatigue, headache, indigestion, weariness
of life and many other complaints. It is perfectly proper to complain
of headache, but it is a humiliation to say that you have chosen wrongly
in marriage, or that you are essentially polygamous, or that an eight-hour
day of work at clerking or bookkeeping disgusts and bores you. People
complain of that which is proper and allows them to maintain self-respect,
but they hide that which may lower them in the eyes of others. Gain
their confidence, show that you see deeper than their words and you
get revelations that need no psychoanalytic technique to elicit and
which are distinctly conscious.
This brings me to the point that the constant inhibition, blocking and
balking of desires and wishes, though in part socially necessary and
ethically justifiable, is decidedly wearisome, at times to all, and
to many at all times. It seems so easy and pleasant to relax in purposes,
in morals, in thought, to be a vagrant spirit seeking nothing but the
pleasures right at hand; to be like a traditional bee flitting from
the rose to rose of desire. (Only the bee is a decidedly purposive creature,
out for business not pleasure.) "Why all this striving and self-control?"
cries the unorganized in all of us. "Why build up when Death tears
down?" cries the pessimist in our hearts. Great epochs in history
are marked by different answers to these questions, and in our own civilization
there has grown up a belief that bodily pleasure in itself is wrong,
that life is vanity unless yoked to service and effort. The Puritan
idea that we best serve God in this way has been modified by a more
skeptical idea that we serve man by swinging our efforts away from bodily
pleasure and toward work, organized to some good end; but essentially
the idea of inhibition, control, as the highest virtue, remains. Such
an ideal gains force for a time, then grows too wearisome, too extreme,
and a generation grows up that throws it off and seeks pleasure frankly;
paints, powders, dances, sings, develops the art of "living,"
indulges the sense; becomes loose in morals, and hyperesthetic and over-refined
in tastes. Then the ennui, boredom and disgust that always follow sensual
pleasures become diffuse; happiness cannot come through the seeking
of pleasure and excitement and anhedonia of the exhausted type arises.
Preachers, prophets, seers and poets vigorously proclaim the futility
of pleasure, and the happiness of service; inhibition comes into its
own again and a Puritan cycle recommences. Stoic, epicurean; Roman republic,
Roman empire; Puritan England, Restoration; Victorian days, early twentieth
century; for to-day we are surging into an era of revolt against form,
custom, tradition; in a word against inhibition.
As with periods, so with people; self-indulgence, i. e., indulgence
of the passing desires, follows the idealism of adolescence. Youth sows
its wild oats. Then the steadying purposes appear partly because the
pleasure of indulgence passes. Marriage, responsibility, straining effort
mark the passing of ten or a dozen years; then in middle life, and often
before, things get flat and without savor, monotony creeps in and a
curiosity as to the possibilities of pleasure formerly experienced is
awakened. (I believe that most of the sexual unfaithfulness in men and
women over thirty springs not from passion but from curiosity.)
There occurs a dangerous age in the late thirties and early forties,
one in which self-indulgence makes itself clamorous. The monotony of
labor, the fatigue of inhibition make themselves felt, and at this time
men (and women) need to add relaxation and pleasure of a legitimate
kind. Golf, the fishing trip, games of all kinds; legitimate excitement
which need not be inhibited is necessary. This need of excitement without
inhibition is behind most of the gambling and card playing; it explains
the extraordinary attraction of the detective story and the thrilling
movies; it gives great social value to the prize fight and the ball
game where you may see the staid and the sober giving vent to an excitement
that, may fatigue them for a time but which clears the way for their
next day's inhibitions.
Unfortunately too many mistake excitement for happiness. The forms of
relief from inhibition--card playing, sports, the theater, the thrilling
story and the movie--grow to be habits and lose their exciting value.
They can give no permanent relief from the pain of repression; only
a philosophy of life can do that. A philosophy of life! One might write
a few volumes on that (and there are so many great philosophers already
on the market), and yet such a philosophy would only state that strenuous
purpose must alternate with quiet relaxation; excitement is to be sought
only at periods and never for any length of time; relief from inhibitions
can only be found in legitimate ways or self-reproach enters. Play,
sports, short frequent vacations rather than long ones, freedom from
ceremony as a rule--but now and then a full indulgence in ceremonials--and
a realization that there is no freedom in self-indulgence.
I remember one Puritanically bred young woman who fled from her restrictions
and inhibitions and joined a "free love" colony in New York.
After two years she left, them and came back to New England. Her statement
of the situation she found herself; it summarizes all attempts at "freedom."
"It wasn't freedom. You found yourself bound to your desires, a
slave to every wish. It grew awfully tiresome and besides, it brought
so many complications. Sometimes you loved where you weren't loved--and
vice versa. Jealousy was there, oh, so much of it--and pleasure disappeared
after a while. It wasn't conscience--I still believe that right and
wrong are arbitrary matters --but I found myself envying people who
had some guide, some belief, some restrictions in themselves! For it
seemed to me they were more free than I."
The fact is, for most men and women inhibition is no artificial phenomenon,
despite its burdensomeness. It is not only inevitable, it is desirable.
A feeling of power appears when one resists; there is mental gain, character
growth as a result. Life must be purposive else it is vain and futile,
and the feeling of no achievement and failure is far more disastrous
than a thousand inhibitions.
Though man battles and compromises with himself, he also battles and
compromises with his fellows and circumstances. That is to say, he must
continually adjust himself to the unforeseen, the obstacle, the favoring
circumstance; the possible and impossible; the certain and uncertain.
Adjustment to reality is what the neurologists call it, but they do
not define reality, which indeed cannot be defined. It is not the same
thing for any two persons. For some reality is success, for others it
is virtue. The scientist smiles at the reality of the love-sick girl,
and she would think his reality a bad dream. The artist says, "Beauty
is the reality"; the miser says, "Cash"; the sentimentalist
answers, "None of this but Love"; and the philosopher, aloof
from all these, defines reality as "Truth." And the skeptic
asks, "What is Truth?" We gain nothing by saying a man must
adjust himself to reality; we say something definite when we say he
must adjust his wishes to his abilities, to the opposing wills, wisher,
and abilities of others; to the needs of his family and his country;
to disease, old age and death; to the flux of the river of life. In
the quickness of adjustment we have a great character factor; in the
farsightedness of adjustment (foreseeing, planning) we have another.
Does a man take his difficulties with courage and good cheer does he
make the "best of it" or is he plunged into doubt and indecision
by obstacles or complications? Is he calm, cool, collected, well poised,
in that he watches and works without too much emotion and maintains
self-feeling against adversity? We say a man is self-reliant when he
finds in himself resources against obstacles and does not call on his
neighbors for help. We would do well to extend the term to the one whose
fund of courage, hope, energy and resource springs largely from within
himself; who resists the forces that reduce courage, hope and energy.
A higher sort of man not only supplies himself with the energetic factors
of character, but he inspires, as we say, others; he is a sort of bank
of these qualities, with high reserves which he gives to others. Contrast
him with those whose cry constantly is "Help, help." Charming
they may be as ornaments, but they deplete the treasury of life for
their associates and are only of value as they call out the altruism
of others.
There is no formula for adjustment. Intelligence, insight into one's
powers and capacities, caution, boldness, compromise, firmness, aggressiveness,
tact,--these and a dozen other traits and qualities come into play.
It is a favorite teaching of optimistic sentimentalists, "Will
conquers everything--it is omnipotent." God's will is,--but no
one else's. What happens when two will and pray for diametrically opposing
results? "Then God is on the side of the heaviest battalions,"
said Napoleon. Victory comes to the best prepared, the most intelligent,
the least hampered and the luckiest. Outside of metaphysics and theology
there is no abstract will; it is a part of purpose, intelligence and
instinct and shares in their imperfections and limitations. To will
the impossible is to taste failure, although it may be difficult to
know what is impossible. Fight hard, be brave, keep your powder dry
and have good friends is the best counsel for adjustment. But learn
resignation and cultivate a sense of humor.
No inspiration in that? Well, I must leave inspiration to others who
have an infallible formula. The best I can offer in adjustment is the
old prayer, "Lord, make me love the chase and not the quarry! Lord,
make me live up to my ideals!"
Out of the welter of conflicts into which the individual is plunged
through his own nature and the nature of the life around him, out of
the experience of the race and the teaching of its leaders come ideals.
Good, Beauty, Justice,--these are good deeds, beautiful things, true
and non-contradictory expressions, just acts raised to the divine and
absolute, and therefore worshiped. And their opposite, arising from
evil deeds, ugly and disgusting things, misleading experiences and suffering,
become unified into various forms of Evil. Life becomes divided into
two parts, Good and Evil, and personified (by the great majority) into
God and the Devil. Man seeks the Good, hates Evil, esteems himself when
he conforms to the ideal, loathes himself when he violates it. He cannot
judge himself; he wishes to know the judgment of others and accepts
or rejects that judgment.
We say man seeks pleasure, satisfaction, the Good. True. But it is important
to know that essentially he seeks a higher self-valuation, seeks to
establish his own dignity and worth and has his highest satisfaction
when that valuation is reached through conformity with absolute standards.
CHAPTER XII. THE METHODS OF PURPOSE--WORK CHARACTERS
Having asked concerning any person, "What are his purposes?"
whether of power or fellowship, whether permanent or transitory, whether
adjustable or not, we next ask, "How does he seek their fulfillment?"
"He who wills the end wills the means" is an old saying, but
men who will the same end may will different means. There have been
those who used assassination to bring about reform, and there are plenty
who use philanthropy to hasten their egoistic aims. The nihilist who
throws a bomb to bring about an altruistic state is own cousin to the
ward heeler who gives coal to his poor constituents so that his grafting
rule may continue.
1. There are those who use the direct route of force to reach their
goal of desire and purpose. They attempt to make no nice adjustments
of their wishes to the wishes of others; the obstacle, whether human
or otherwise must get out of their way or be forcibly removed or destroyed.
"A straight line is the shortest distance between two points,"
and there is only one absolute law,--"the good old rule, the simple
plan that they may take who have the power and they may keep who can."
The individuals who react this way to obstacles are choleric, passionate,
egoistic and in the last analysis somewhat brutal. This is especially
true if they seek force at first, for with nearly all of us extreme
provocation or desperation brings direct-action measures.
Conspicuously those accustomed to arbitrary power use this method. They
have grown accustomed to believing that their will or wish is a cause,
able to remove obstacles of all kinds. When at all opposed the angry
reaction is extreme, and they tend to violence at once. The old-fashioned
home was modeled in tyranny, and the force reaction of the father and
husband to his children and wife was sanctioned by law and custom. The
attitude of the employer to employee, universally in the past and still
prominent, was that of the master, able in ancient times to use physical
punishment and in our day to cut off a man's livelihood if he showed
any rebellion. In a larger social way War is crude brute force, and
those who delude themselves that the God of victory is a righteous God
have read history with a befoozled mind. Force, though the world rests
on it, is a terrible weapon and engenders brutality in him who uses
it and rebellion, hate and humiliation in him upon whom it is used.
It is an insult to the dignity and worth of the human being. It must
be used for disciplining purposes only,--on children, on the criminal,
and then more to restrain than to punish. It cannot disappear from the
world, but it should be minimized. Only the sentimentalized believe
it can disappear entirely, only the brutal rejoice in its use. Force
is a crude way of asserting and obtaining superiority; the gentle hate
to use it, for it arouses their sympathy for their opponent. Whoever
preaches force as the first weapon in any struggle is either deluded
as to its value or an enemy of mankind.
As a non-inhibited response, force and brutality appear in the mentally
sick. General paresis, cerebral arterio-selerosis, alcoholic psychoses
present classical examples of the impatient brutal reaction, often in
men hitherto patient and gentle.
2. Strategy or cunning appears as a second great method of obtaining
the fulfillment of one's purposes. We all use strategy in the face of
superior or equal power, just as we tend to use force confronted by
inferiority. There is of course a legitimate use of cunning, but there
is also an anti-social trend to it, quite evident in those who by nature
or training are schemers. The strategist in love, war or business simulates
what he does not feel, is not frank or sincere in his statements and
believes firmly that the end justifies the means. He uses the indirect
force of the lie, the slander, insinuation --he has no aversion to flattery
and bribery--he uses spies and false witnesses. He is a specialist in
the unexpected and seeks to lull suspicion and disarms watchfulness,
waiting for the moment to strike. Sometimes he weaves so tangled a web
that he falls into it himself, and one of the stock situations in humor,
the novel and the stage is where the cunning schemer falls into the
pit he has dug for others. In his highest aspect he is the diplomat;
in his lowest he is the sneak. People who are weak or cowardly tend
to the use of these methods, but also there is a group of the strong
who hate direct force and rather like the subtler weapons.
The strategist tends to be quite cynical, and his effect on his fellow
men is to increase cynicism and pessimism. They who have suffered through
the schemer grow to suspect their fellows under any guise. They become
suspicious and hard, determined never to trust any one again. Indeed,
practical wisdom to a large extent is the wisdom of strategy and is
full of mottoes and proverbs inculcating non-generous ideals. When people
have been "fooled" or misled, the most valuable of the social
cementing qualities, faith in one's fellows, is weakened. Despite the
disintegrating effect of unscrupulous shrewdness, it is common enough
to hear men say of a successful votary of the art, "Well, I give
him credit. He is a very clever fellow, and he has brought home the
bacon." Success is so highly prized and admired that the means
of obtaining it becomes secondary in the eyes of the majority.
3. The role of speech in the relationships of human beings is of course
too great to be over-estimated. Speech becomes the prime weapon in swaying
and molding the opinions and acts of others. It is the medium of the
threat of force and the stratagem of cunning, but also it enters human
life as the medium of persuasion and conviction. The speech ability,
the capacity to use words in attaining purpose, shows as striking variations
as any other capacity.
Though a function of intelligence, the power to speak (and write) convincingly
and easily, is not at all related to other phases of intelligence. Though
it can be cultivated, good verbalism is an innate ability, and a most
valuable one. The power to speak clearly so as to express what is on
one's own mind is uncommon, as any one can testify who has watched people
struggling to express themselves. "You know" is a very frequent
phrase in the conversation of the average man, and he means that, "My
words are inadequate, but you know what I mean." The delight in
the good writer or speaker is that he relieves other people's dissatisfaction
in their own inadequate expression by saying what they yearn to say
for themselves, thus giving them a vicarious achievement.
But the power of clear expression is not at all the power of persuasion,
although it may be a part of it. One may clearly express himself and
antagonize others. The persuader seeks to discover the obstacles to
agreement with him in the minds of others and to remove or nullify them.
He may seek to do this by a clear exposition of his wishes and desires,
by showing how these will benefit the others (or at least not harm them),
by meeting logically or otherwise the objections and demonstrating their
futility. This he will attempt, if he is wise and practical, only in
a limited group or among those who are keen-minded and open to reason.
Even with them he will have to kindle and maintain their interest, and
he must arouse a favorable emotional state.
This latter is the principal goal in persuasion. Every good speaker
or writer who seeks to reach the mass of people needs the effect of
the great feelings--of patriotism, sympathy and humor--needs flattery,
gross or subtle, makes people laugh or smile or feel kindly disposed
to him before he attempts to get their cooperation. He must place himself
on their level, be regarded as one of them; fellowship and the cooperative
tendencies must be awakened before logic will have value.
The persuader cuts his cloth to suit his case. He is a psychologist
of the intuitive type. He may thunder and scold if he finds in his audience,
whether numbering one or a million, a tendency to yield to authority,
and he then poses as that authority, handing out his dicta in an awe-inspiring
fashion. He will awaken the latent trend to ridicule and scoffing by
pointing out inconsistency in others, or he may awaken admiration for
his fairness and justice by lauding his opponent, taking care not to
overdo it.
Persuasion is often a part of scheming, rarely is it used by the forceful,
except in the authoritative way or to arouse anger against the opponent.
It is the weapon of those who believe in democracy, for all exposition
has persuasion as its motive. A statement must not only be true to others,--to
the mass. Therefore persuasion as applied to the great mass of people
is rarely closely knit or a fine exposition of truth and historical
evolution; that one must leave for the highbrow book or treatise. It
is passionate and pleading; it thunders and storms; it has wit and humor;
it deals with symbols and analogies, it plays on the words of truth,
justice, ideals, patriotism. It may be honest and truthful, but it cannot
be really accurate or of high intellectual value.
And the persuasion that seeks private ends from private audiences "sizes"
up its audience as a preliminary. The capacity to understand others
and to sway them, to impress them according to their make-up, is a trait
of great importance for success or failure. It needs cultivation, but
often it depends on a native sociability, a friendliness and genuine
interest, on a "good nature" that is what it literally purports
to be,--good nature. Though many of the persuasive kind are insincere
and selfish, I believe that on the whole the taciturn and gruff are
less interested in their fellows than the talkative and cordial.
The persuasive person has a touch of the fighting spirit in the trait
called aggressiveness. He is rarely shy or retiring. To do well, he
must be prepared for rebuffs, and he is possessed of a species of courage
and resistance against refusal and humiliation. In the highest form
the persuader is a teacher and propagandist, changing the policy of
peoples; in the commonest form he is a salesman, seeking to sell a commodity;
in the lowest he is the faker, trying to hoodwink the credulous.
4. The strong, the crafty, the talkers each seek fulfillment of purpose
from an equal or higher level than their fellows. But power and fulfillment
may be reached at from a lower level, from the beggar's position, from
the place of weakness. There are some whose existence depends upon the
response given to their supplications, who throw themselves directly
on the charity and tender-heartedness of society. Inefficient, incapable
of separate existence, this parasitic class is known to every social
service group, to every rich or powerful man who helps at least in part
to maintain them. I do not mean those who are physically or intellectually
unable to cope with the world; these are merely unfortunate. I mean
those whose energy and confidence is so low, or whose lack of pride
is such that they are willing to ask for help continually rather than
make their own way.
There is, however, a very interesting type of person who uses weakness
as a weapon to gain a purpose, not support. The tears of many women
have long been recognized as potent in that warfare that goes on between
the sexes; the melting of opposition to the whim or wish when this manifestation
of weakness is used is an old story. The emotional display renders the
man uncomfortable, it disturbs him, he fears to increase it lest the
opponent become sick, his conscience reproaches him, and he yields rather
than "make a fuss." Tears can be replaced by symptoms of a
hysteric nature. I do not mean that these symptoms are caused by the
effort to win, but they become useful and are made habitual. Nor is
this found only in woman; after an accident there are men in plenty
whose symptoms play a role in securing compensation for themselves,
not necessarily as malingerers. It is in human nature to desire the
sympathy of others, and in some cases this sympathy is sought because
through sympathy some other good will be ......
Continua
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